Ruth's Journey

Retire Wig!!! Enough hair to style

2007-06-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

Can not locate my hairdresser. But God has blessed me with a new one who did a wonderful job. I was a bit shy about taking the wig off with a row of Hispanic men lined up waiting to have their hair cut. I know I was the topic of conversation in the hair salon but the woman was very sensitive to my concerns. I have also never had short hair. My Dad always reminded my mom to make sure that our ears did not show. What a great blessing. She did a great job.

Ready for Cut-It is not Grey-Feb 2007

2007-06-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

My Hair is Growing-New Years Day 2007

2007-06-03T17:30:00.001-07:00

Punk Rocker???? Surfer????

2007-06-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

I retired my wig mid February. It took a lot of courage and yet afterward it felt sooooooo good. I finally have my own hair again. It is thick and a nice color (pretty much like before). It is not grey like I was fearing. The shadows that it made as it was coming in both on my scalp and under my eyebrows made me fear that it was coming back grey, but those were just shadows. Everyone likes my hair short and thinks I should keep it this way. I never would have worn my hair this way if I had to choose but it is fun to present myself totally differently. An image quite different for conservative Ruth. I have been called a surfer and a punk rocker. Some people have not recognized me at first. I have also ran into people I haven't seen in years and they recognize me even with my short hair. I went to have it styled and then no more wig from that moment on. Go to the blogspot to see pictures of me getting my hair cut and of my hair at different stages.

I know many of you have expressed that you are anxious to see how I look. One of my friends came by the other day to help out with some things and she had to take a picture of my hair for her children who wanted to see my hair. Many of my small little friends were concerned about my hair and have prayed faithfully for my hair to come back. Yes, my hair is back and growing very quickly and thick. Thanks for your prayers.

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Song: Through It All

2007-03-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

Here are the words to the song: Through It All.

“I’ve had many tears and trials. I’ve had questions for tomorrow. There have been times I didn’t know right from wrong. But in every situation God gave blessed consolation that my trials only come to make me strong. I’ve been a lot of places and seen so many faces there been times I felt so all alone. But in that lonely hour in that priceless lonely hour Jesus let me know I was His own. And though it was,

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word.

So, I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He has brought me through. If I never had a problem wouldn’t know that He could solve them, wouldn’t know what faith in his Word could do.

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word, yes I learned to depend upon His Word, I learned to depend upon His Word.”

God's Speaks Through Nature

2007-03-31T20:37:00.000-07:00

Lesson From a Plant

2007-03-31T20:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

(Written a month or more ago) Thanks for your continual support and prayers. It is a struggle but God keeps giving me strength to persevere. I am thankful for how God takes such good care of me. Today and yesterday, God put it on the heart of several of you to call and I was able to ask for prayer over the phone for strength to keep going. I am processing many things which take a lot of emotional energy. Not a lot of interest in initiating although I am getting many things done here and there. Food doesn’t interest me but I am cooking every day. Have an appetite but hard to be creative or interested in eating although I am but God’s grace. Kind of bored with eating. Probably some of this has to do with the desire to eat only natural meat and dairy products and still having to be a bit careful with acidic foods and spicy. Ate so bland for so long that foods with a lot of flavor are overpowering for me.

I had a very pleasant surprise the other day when I opened the door to my large great room and a beautiful aroma was there. Where was it coming from? Well, it was coming from one of my large plants. There were two stems shooting up with about 10 flowers on each shoot. What a blessing and encouragement. They were a reminder of God’s faithfulness. He surprises us in so many amazing ways when we least expect it. New life coming unexpectedly. I never thought that this tall plant (looking like a tree) would ever produce flowers. It was a sign that God can do what seems to be impossible and knows when we need encouragement and when we need to see a sign from him that He is there. Every time I walk in to the room I am blessed by the beautiful smell and am reminded that even when things look difficult that God is still blessing me with little things (and big things) and that He is with me on this journey and that things will get better day by day.

It reminded me also of a plant I had years ago that had many flowers and then dried up and was as dry as a stick. My roommate teased me because I kept watering this dead plant. Then all of a sudden in a difficult time in my life the plant started having life and produced a least 10 beautiful buds that bloomed into beautiful flowers. It gave me hope that even when circumstances look so bad in our life that afterwards things will get better and there will be new life. We are just in a season of our lives and it will eventually change. It is just difficult to wait. There are many unknowns in my life but I have been in this season before. Afterwards God starts moving and things look fresh and new and I go into a new season of my life.
Lord help me to remember this and not be impatient. Help me to learn all you want me to learn in this season of my life. You have really been faithful and have blessed me during a time that could be very dark. If it wasn’t for You, I would sink. But you are carrying me through and giving me light in the darkness. Thank you Lord! Amen.

I woke up many times during the night a few weeks ago and found myself every time with the following song in my head. “Through It All” (Words and Music by Andrae Crouch). I share those words with you now: Through it All, Through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus, I learned to trust in God (see the blog for all of the words). They are very powerful. This song is on a CD that I listen to very much by Selah called Hiding Place which has had so many encouraging songs to lift my spirits and to help me to persevere with hope when I am feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. Physically I feel great, but emotionally things are tough due to the hormone treatment and also I am slowly feeling the impact of the last year. It still does not seem real. The other day I saw a man I knew at work and I noticed that his wonderful think white hair was almost gone. I knew right away that he was in chemo treatments. I could also tell by his eyes. I was in shock and froze. Emotionally, I was reminded of what I just had been through and it was like looking at my self in a mirror a few months back. That was me. Although for the most part, I did not look that much like a person going through chemo. I guess it was showing me that yes, you have gone through this.

Here are the words to the song: Through It All.

“I’ve had many tears and trials. I’ve had questions for tomorrow. There have been times I didn’t know right from wrong. But in every situation God gave blessed consolation that my trials only come to make me strong. I’ve been a lot of places and seen so many faces there been times I felt so all alone. But in that lonely hour in that priceless lonely hour Jesus let me know I was His own. And though it was,

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word.

So, I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He has brought me through. If I never had a problem wouldn’t know that He could solve them, wouldn’t know what faith in his Word could do.

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word, yes I learned to depend upon His Word, I learned to depend upon His Word.”

Thank you Lord for the Trials

For His Glory,

Ruth

More News But God is My Manager

2007-03-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

Wow, when it rains it pours but not only the challenges but also the blessings.

I feel like this past year has been challenge after challenge. First shingles, then cancer diagnosis, operation, chemo, my Dad passing away, job challenges, other challenges (several unspoken), the passing of my "second Dad", several other deaths, friends moving away, and losing my job (have know for a long time but could not share publically until now), career crisis.

Now the blessings are flooding me and God is managing the order of solving the challenges. I can't work on them all at once and I didn't know where to begin but God knew the order and started moving things forward at just the right time. Last week I found out the operation is going to be March 16th and not in May or later. This piece is important to get out of the way and important information for the other plans. Last Friday my boss finally made his decision to leave (I have known for months that he was most likely leaving). He will leave Boston the end of June. The next couple months I will be able to focus on tying up loose ends in my current job and be working on finding a new position (the lab is moving so there is no longer a position for me) starting earlier or later then July depending on what God's plans are. I have a few leads and one that sounds very interesting combining many of my skills and interests. I am open to anything and am seeing this as an opportunity instead of an obstacle but it takes a lot of faith. Not sure what I want to do or more correctly what God wants me to do. I am in God's waiting room.

Please pray for me in my search for a new position and also feel free to pass on any leads that you might have. I am currently a research project manager for a prostate cancer pathologist. This job has been a blessing as I am working a 30 hour a week position with flexible hours. This has been great for being able to do Verami responsibilities.

Waiting in Expectation for God's gift of a job He has selected for me.

Since I wrote this e-mail I had a three hour interview two on the 14th, 2 days before my operation, and was asked back for a second interview the next day. All went well. A few other possibilities with a possible interview next week at BWH.

Thanks for your prayers,

Ruth
www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Update on My Operation

2007-03-31T20:30:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

Thanks for all of your support and prayers this past week and always. It was a busy week with three hours of interview on Wednesday afternoon (was quite exhausting) and a second interview on Thursday. Was trying to focus on getting ready for the operation but was also involved with interviewing.

The operation went very well. Spent some time in the chapel praying together and reading Psalm 34 since we were 15 minutes early. At 6 am everything started. Dr. Orgill met us right away and looked very fresh. They were ready in the operating room early so they wisked me away and the operation started I believe around 7:20 am and finished about an hour later. They all said I looked better after the operation then before. Two answers to prayer: The surgeon being refreshed and me being refreshed. Didn't want to wake up but once I did was met by two of my Anesthesiology friends. One met me before the operation too. All of the nurses were great too. Then my mom and two friends rejoined me and we took our time in getting ready to leave the recovery room. I was able to walk steady and felt quite strong. When we got out to the car, there was an issue with my friends car keys that were missing. Thankfully, she had another set of keys and my valet parker friend was able to intervene to find the attendent who parked her car and we got the keys. So nice to run into friends along the way. Makes the place feel even more friendly. Got home just as the storm was beginning. Was home before noon.

I am not having any pain. The incision was very small and was part of the original incision. I was glued together instead of stiched together. I took one oxycodone last evening in order to make sure I would not wake up in pain and not be able to catch up with it. I had toruble sleeping but had no discomfort. We had quite a storm here and it was noisy all night. In many ways I feel better then I did before the operation. The expander was getting uncomfortable. I can comfortable move my whole body. The implant does not feel heavy. I don't feel like anything has changed except it is more comfortable and soft.

Please pray for the continual emotional healing for me, for the incision to heal well, to protect me from infection, to help me to be able to rest and let others take some of the responsibilities, to not think about work until next Wednesday (except to do payroll), for the anesthesia to be totally out of my system, for me to feel myself again, for me to not feel sitr crazy and bored (was unknown to me until this past year) which I am feeling now.

Thanks for the many encouraging e-mails that you have sent and for your prayers and support.

Praising God for a successful operation that went smoothly, quickly, and for no pain. God is faithful. He promised that He would be glorified through my illness and He has.

For His Glory,

Ruth
www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

SOS PLEASE PRAY

2007-03-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

I just sent out an e-mail I prepared a few days ago. I had a really upbeat couple of weeks but as of Friday pm I became emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and I guess depressed. Please pray for me through out today and this week so that I can be emotionally and physically ready for this surgery. Basics are difficult for me the last couple of days. I have had to relax and not worry about what doesn't get done and take care of myself. Not sure if it is the drugs or any one of the major things going on in my life or all of them. Pray for spiritual strength too. The enemy is trying to put lies in my head. I know he is in control of my life and I was so sure of that last week. I know that now but somehow I am feeling very weak. I wrote this yesterday morning and my day got really crazy before I could finish this e-mail. I was in fact interrupted by a surprise. I got a call and have an interview on Wednesday at 1:15 for a very interesting position at Children's Hospital.

Thanks for your support and prayers. I got to run to my pre-op appointment. Looking forward to my 2 mile walk.

Blessings,

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

SURPISE BLESSING

2007-03-31T20:21:00.001-07:00

Dear All,

I went to the Plastic Surgeon on Tuesday (February 27th) for more saline filling for my expander. I was expecting to get filled that day and then two more fillings a month apart and was anticipating surgery most likely in May. The syringe (it is huge) was filled and ready for my doctor to put in. He looked and said we are done. I am not going to put any in today. Your skin can not stretch more. So the date is set for March 16th for the implant surgery. I have been listening and asking lots of questions about saline vs. silicone implants. Due to the risk of autoimmune diseases and connective tissue issues and the fact that the silicone implants just went back on the market in November, I have decided to go with a Saline implant. I fell the other day totally prostate and thankfully God held me up a few inches or else all the work of filling the expander with saline would have been wasted. Thankfully, I did not land on my chest.

I had asked God a few days ago to confirm for me if I should get a Saline implant instead of Silicone. I didn't know that I was having to know which I wanted so soon. I thought I still had several months. But God knew. I felt at peace about saying saline and my doctor confirmed that he felt good. Just last week I heard of several cases of friends having someone they knew who was having autoimmune issues due to silicone implants. The silicone feel the most natural but the unknown health risks are more then I want to risk at this point. I can always change later and insurance will cover it.

Too bad that my nicely healed incisions have to be reopened and go again through the healing process.

I will have day surgery and it is a quick recovery. Can probably go back to work on the 19th but will probably take Monday and Tuesday off to recuperate since I haven't had any rest since this whole journey started over a year ago.

Have to be at the hospital at 6am on the 16th and my operation is at 7:30am.
Pre-op appointment on the 13th at 9:30.

Thanks for your prayers. Keep them coming. I am still on this journey.

Blessings,

Ruth
http://www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com/

SURPISE

2007-03-31T20:21:00.000-07:00

Another Loss

2007-03-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

I have pics and other things to pass on to you and to put on the blog but something has come up that has taken priority.
Please pray for me to have strength with yet another loss. In fact, have not been in touch with my feelings since it happened. I think today I am starting to feel. Jim, my landlord (not really a landlord but like a second DAD to me), passed away on Tuesday morning. I have lived in this house since 1989 and he has been there through all my ups and downs. Through my tears, heart aches, and joys and accomplishments. We have seen many miracles in this house. We almost lost him many times. Exactly two years ago he got very sick. He came home from Rehab with two weeks to live. He couldn't eat, drink, move, or talk. God did a miracle. Through prayer of many for Jim and the love of family and friends Jim got to a point where he was walking on his own, talking and even about feelings, traveling (even to Bonaire), going out shopping, etc. When he first came home I spent lots of time with him as I helped to care for him in especially in the mornings. I helped to get him ready for the day and we had to pray a lot because it was very challenging in many ways. Mary and I were a great team with God as our coach. Jim brought so much joy to all of us. He is a very special man and gave me so much love. Every day there was Jim to say Good Morning to me as I was leaving for work he would always invite me for Breakfast and when I said I had to go and would always ask, "ARe you going to BWH?" Bring me back some ham. He would always want to show the rainbows in his room which he spent all day counting. He would ask how many I could see and we would count them together. His favorite song was, "You are my Sunshine" and another one about a Nasty Baby which we did not like him to sing but he really liked. He would play the harmonica even when he couldn't do much else. Always was listening to Hillbily at Harvard on Saturday am and Sunday morning counry on Sundays. He wouldn't miss it for anything. He always had music on and quite a variety. I will miss his calling out hello in a special way everytime I entered the house. I almost always would stop and at least say hi. He also invited me every day for dinner which over the last year I have not been able to join as much. He has been slowly going down hill. The last three days before he passed away he declined very quickly. Since he has popped back to health usually I didn't think too much of the decline. When he was so sick two years ago and what I have gone through with my dad, I have learned that our lives our clearly in God's hands. He knows when He is going to take us. I used to go to work and Jim was in really bad shape and I was sure I was going to come home to no more Jim. But he would be much better in the evening. Some days he was good in the morning and not in the evening. I learned that I could not live on that rollercoaster. Can't go planning one way or another. This time he was getting ready for his annual trip to Bonaire, but God took him before. He passed away peacefully. I had a special moment with him a few hours before just like the special moments I had with my Dad. The day before Jim passed away his eyes were shut and he was not coherent. He responded with his mouth a bit while putting water swabs in his mouth. Nodded head a bit. His body was very cold. We got oxygen which warmed him up a bit. I was sure that he was not going to be with us in the morning when I woke up but he was. I went into his room to say a quick good morning Jim on my way to work. As I said Good Morning he unexpectedly responded and opened one eye and then the other trying to communicate. I got to say some words to him and pray with him and asking God to take him without a struggle or suffering. It was a precious moment (few other family members were around) that I will not forget. My last moments with Jim. I got a call mid day that he had passed away. I have lost two dads in the matter of 6 months. The service will be on Sunday at 2pm at the Unitarian Church at Warren/Walnut streets right near our house. Thanks for your prayers for us at this time. The house is quite different with no Jim and no Mary (his caretaker who lived upstairs with me for two years). Pray for Harriet his wife of 58 years and their 5 daughters and families. I am thankful for my new housemate who moved in February 1st. Perfect timing. God knows exactly the timing of everything in our lives. Don't understand the timing of Jim's passing, but God knows why it is now. He has been such a blessing in my life and I will always have found memories of him. Thanks for many of you who have been praying for him these past years.

For His Glory,

Ruth

Christmas Outfit and Pink the Breast Cancer Logo

2007-03-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

Here you see me with my Christmas Outfit from my mom. This is the last time you will see a picture of me with my wig (I have already retired the wig and you will see a picture soon). This picture is special since it is the outfit from my mom and the scarf is also very special. A woman from Tibet at work gave me this scarf from Tibet. She thought this one was especially for me since it was pink and pink is the color of the Breast Cancer logo.

Tips to Avoid Burnout

2007-01-28T15:30:00.000-08:00

Accept Responsibility

We must never relinquish control of our schedules to the unpredictable and sometimes ruthless whims of the world or the demands of others. We should be active in self-examination. Nobody is locked in to anything. Each of us can accomplish the needed changes if we want them badly enough.

Acknowledge Limits

We can schedule our days more sanely, more humanly, and more relationally. We need not apologize for wanting a good night’s sleep; we need not believe the lie that “well-rested” is a synonym for sluggardly.”

Understand God’s Will

God never guides us into an intolerable scramble of over worked feverishness. We will gain more time by properly understanding God’s will for us than by all the time-saving suggestions put together.

Consciously Slow The Pace Of Life

The pace of life has become deadly. We simply cannot permit each year to bring an increase in speed and not get caught in the exhausting consequences of such a frenzy.

Define and Defend Boundaries

Jesus did not minister to everybody in Israel, even though He could have. Remember that it is not necessary to have more compassion than the almighty.

Learn To Say NO

It is easy to say no to a root canal or a colonoscopy. It is far more difficult to say no to things that are interesting or enjoyable. Yet even if everything we are doing is enjoyable, if we do not learn to say no, overload will overwhelm us.

Get Less Done, But Do The Right Things

We would do well to consider doing less, but radically prioritizing. Remember, the multiplying coefficient for our labor is the power of the Holy Spirit. The same God who spoke the universe into existence sees our faithful efforts and instructs the Holy Spirit to expand the benefit to whatever level best glorifies Him.

The following is taken from “The Soul Care Bible: Overcoming Burnout, H. B. London (Isaiah 40:31) with some inserts and comments from me.

Overcoming Burnout

2007-01-28T15:28:00.000-08:00

Check out www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com for new entries (finally got some pics up there).

Dear Friends,
January 1st: I read something this morning in my time with God that really touched my heart and gave me courage to persevere with the changes in my life. For me it took an illness. My hope and prayer is that it will not take that for you to make changes to overcome burnout. I am sure most of you can totally identify with what I am about to share. I have been trying to make changes but feel a bit strange because it seems counter cultural and is also producing a bit of stress on those who see a different Ruth (being more honest and direct about my feelings). I am sure it is that we are all feeling the same stresses but don’t know how to get off the rollercoaster. Jesus took rest from the crowds. For me this is a really rich time of taking the time to really get to know the real me and my Lord in a real way. We don’t learn to REALLY trust until we are challenged and need to let go and let God take control. He shows His power in weakness. It is Him doing the work and not us. There is no doubt. I feel like every step takes every emotional energy that I have. I feel emotionally (not physically) very tired but so many wonderful blessings are coming my way unexpectedly with out me lifting my finger. Thank you Lord. I don’t take sleeping for granted. Not sleeping extra. Finally, sleeping (although not all the time). I am not the one used to being given the Love Offering from the church (what an unexpected blessing from a struggling congregation and from people who I know have much less then I have but gave from their hearts out of love for me), and the women’s group of another church putting together a lovely basket of things they contributed to my wellness. Did you know that there are socks that have aloe in them and moisturize your feet while you were them and they are also keep your feet very cozy. The Lord is really blessing and providing encouragement exactly when I feel like giving up. He says persevere.

I’d like to share with you what I read January 1st which impacted me and is something great to keep in mind and put into practice as the new year starts. There are some great tips the second part of this e-mail. People everywhere are feeling burned out and exhausted and those of us with physical and emotional weakness are feeling even more burned out. In this time of healing from the impact of this past year I am having to be more careful as to how I live life and setting of priorities. I am learning where to say no in order to minimize the stress that is not necessary. I am living a very full life, but with much more quality and the opportunity to recharge here and there. The following is taken from “The Soul Care Bible: Overcoming Burnout, H. B. London (Isaiah 40:31) with some inserts and comments from me:

Will a human being ever swim across the ocean?” Run a one minute mile? Go six months with out sleeping? Of course not, because of the established fact of human limits. Yet because of the rapidly changing conditions of modern living-largely due to progress always giving us more and more of everything faster and faster- we are attempting to exceed our limits in scores of areas all at the same time. The pain is palpable. People everywhere are collapsing in exhaustion wondering what hit them. What hit them was overload. This can be defined as the point at which are limits are exceeded.

Stress is such an accepted part of our modern culture that most of us accept it as normal. In reality, stress distorts our physical, mental, and emotional health, and affects our attitudes, marriages, work, and even ministry. We can overload ourselves to the point that we burn out and are no longer effective in God’s work.

Maximizing everything has, of course, become the American way. We push the limits as far as possible. We spend more than we have- whether it be money, time, or energy. Jesus, however, never seemed to be in a hurry. There is no indication that he worked 24 hour days. He went to sleep each night without having healed every disease in Israel. He followed God’s agenda, and so He was perfectly effective.

Jesus understood what it means to be human-and what it means to have limits. Jesus knew what it meant to prioritize and balance in light of these limits and how to focus on the truly important (Ruth’s insert: SO TRUE ON THIS JOURNEY. The focus is on getting well and doing the basics of Doctor’s appointments, work, laundry, bills, cleaning, eating well, exercise-my 2miles to work walk and 2 miles back. Thankfully there is time for relaxing with friends, and some e-mails and phone calls-hard to keep up on. I am learning to say no. Trying to lessen the load on my plate where possible and live on the essentials. I am cleaning out the clutter of my life in every aspect. I can’t put anything more on the plate until I take some things away.)

How do we know when we have reached our limits? If a car overheats, an indicator light goes on alerting us to the danger. Unfortunately, we don’t have such a visible system in most cases. Therefore, we have to be more honest with ourselves about our limits. (Ruth’s Insert: My limits are different then they were before. It also leaves more room for last minute opportunities should I be able to.)

From the beginning, rest has had a special significance for God (Genesis 2:3). This rest is not always easy, however. Even Moses had difficulty obeying the call to rest. He experienced unrelieved stress trying to keep two million Israelites happy as they wandered in the wilderness. God called Moses to rest and to delegate some responsibilities. Soon others helped carry Moses’ burden and his stress became more manageable (Num 11:11-17).

God’s calling in our lives does not eliminate stress and burnout automatically. No where does the Bible promise to ease all the stress in our lives. It does promise God’s peace when we allow Him to control our lives and shape our decisions. He gives us practical ways to limit stress and avoid burnout in the framework of His design for our lives.

(Ruth’s insert: Here are some practical tips. As I read them I realized that God has already been teaching me these tips and I have been implementing them in my life. It was nice to see some confirmation to continue and persevere.)

Accept Responsibility

We must never relinquish control of our schedules to the unpredictable and sometimes ruthless whims of the world or the demands of others. We should be active in self-examination. Nobody is locked in to anything. Each of us can accomplish the needed changes if we want them badly enough.

Acknowledge Limits

We can schedule our days more sanely, more humanly, and more relationally. We need not apologize for wanting a good night’s sleep; we need not believe the lie that “well-rested” is a synonym for sluggardly.”

Understand God’s Will

God never guides us into an intolerable scramble of over worked feverishness. We will gain more time by properly understanding God’s will for us than by all the time-saving suggestions put together.

Consciously Slow The Pace Of Life

The pace of life has become deadly. We simply cannot permit each year to bring an increase in speed and not get caught in the exhausting consequences of such a frenzy.

Define and Defend Boundaries

Jesus did not minister to everybody in Israel, even though He could have. Remember that it is not necessary to have more compassion than the almighty.

Learn To Say NO

It is easy to say no to a root canal or a colonoscopy. It is far more difficult to say no to things that are interesting or enjoyable. Yet even if everything we are doing is enjoyable, if we do not learn to say no, overload will overwhelm us.

Get Less Done, But Do The Right Things

We would do well to consider doing less, but radically prioritizing. Remember, the multiplying coefficient for our labor is the power of the Holy Spirit. The same God who spoke the universe into existence sees our faithful efforts and instructs the Holy Spirit to expand the benefit to whatever level best glorifies Him.

May you be encouraged this new year and take measures to stop burnout before it gets you.

For His Glory,

Ruth

The Lebed Method-Exercise Program

2007-01-21T10:49:00.000-08:00

"Focus on Healing: The Lebed Method" (http://www.lebedmethod.com/) is a registered trademark and the Lebed Method is a licensed procedure. The Lebed Method program has been offered at many different places across the country for over 20 years. Many patients have reported it to be very helpful. It is important to note, however, that while there is research indicating that The Lebed Method has been useful to some patients the evidence is sparse and not conclusive.
The Lebed Method, Focus on Healing through Movement and Dance, is a therapeutic exercise program for women who have had any kind of breast surgery, node dissection, radiation, chemotherapy, Lymphedema, or who suffer with chronic fatigue. Two physicians and a dance movement specialist created this program to help women:

Regain Range of Motion
Increase flexibility in Frozen Shoulder
Work with Balance issues both physically and emotionally
Help reduce swelling from Lymphedema
May help reduce the risk of Lymphedema
Decrease depression
Add to sexuality
Increase femininity
Promotion of positive self image and joy
Weight stabilization
is FUN and EASY to do
No special physical abilities required

Fun and easy to do.

Certain exercises can be one of the major preventatives for some future problems for survivors, from one day after surgery to 30 years after surgery. This quality program is needed to help Breast Cancer Survivors thrive once they have survived, with a better quality of life.

Feeling Better-Day by Day

2007-01-21T10:46:00.000-08:00

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Dear Friends,

I am thankful for a relaxing, quite weekend. It helps to clear my mind.

Thanks so much for your support, prayers and e-mail this week in response to my SOS for prayer. I am thankful for those I found out who were led to pray for me that day specifically and didn't even know the extreme need I had. I felt a breakthrough on Tuesday afternoon. Started seeing many things moving forward. I am bit by bit taking care of things that have been on hold and God is the one directing for those things to finally happen. Finally being able to foxus on some things other then my getting better. However, I look at it as God's timing. As some of these things get out of the way I start feeling much less overwhelmed. Sometimes they are really little things but they have been on my mind for a long time. I see God taking care of me and reminding me that He is the manager of my life as He promised. I just need to go when he says go.

One of the exciting things that happened on Tuesday was taking the step of getting into an excercise class.
I was working remotely from home since I was not feeling that great (probably was fighting something and my body fights it the way it fought the chemo treatments instead of the way others bodies are fighting it-so many people were really sick at work and thankfully I did not really get it) and I saw in my Partners e-mail the Dana Farber Cancer Institute Online Announcements that I receive. I usually don't get a chance to even take a quick peek but I did this day and my eyes fell upon this class for Breast Cancer patients/survivors. So began a series of e-mails, and doctor's approvals etc. to get me registered.

I attended my first class on Thursday from 5:30 to 6:30. It is a six week course. First time taught in the NorthEast and it is a lot of fun and free (they received a grant to conduct this class). It was a small class with around 10 people. The class limit is 20 people and I feel so blessed that I saw the ad the day I did and took action.

On the next entry you will find more information about the dance, movement, exercise class method. We blew bubbles at the beginning of the class. I guess I was finally ready to be with others who are on the same journey. Helpful to hear about others experiences with the struggle of getting through the healing of the chemo brain. One woman said she is just starting being able to focus enough to read a book. I am thankful that I have been able to focus quite a bit. It is needed for my job so sometimes it is more difficult for me to focus on things outside of work and they take lots of concentration and energy.

"Focus on Healing: The Lebed Method" (www.lebedmethod.com) is a registered trademark and the Lebed Method is a licensed procedure.

Thanks for praying and thanks for your support

For His Glory,

Ruth

Fashion Show (#3)-New Clothes- New Size

2007-01-19T19:53:00.000-08:00

Fashion Show #2

2007-01-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

Fashion Show of New Clothes(#1)-With and Without Wig-December

2007-01-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

Shopping Spree Demanded

2007-01-19T19:25:00.000-08:00

I was forced to go clothes shopping in December when I could no longer put up with my skirts starting to fall down and I looked like a bag in my clothes because they were now so big on me. Had been for a long time. But enough is enough. I went down many dress sizes. Interestingly enough my weight stayed exactly the same from February until now. I think I have just redistributed it. One of the benefits of the journey I have been. Here are some pictures with and with out the wig. Some not so serious shots and some more serious. Thanks to my very young photographer, Danny. He and his family were visiting me and we decided to do a photo shoot and Danny ended up being quite a good shooter. We all had lots of fun.

Perspective is Everything

2007-01-16T10:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

The last couple of days have been a bit of a struggle (after a blessed weekend). Many at work have been sick the lst weeks and maybe I am fighting something. Thankfully, it looks like my immune system has been working great. Been exposed very closely over and over again but I have stayed well. Yesterday my muscles and bones hurt, I had no motivation or desire to eat-acidic stomach (probably too much fruits-smoothies- and tomato based dishes). Plain pasta, cereal, homemade ginger tea were what I wanted. I made a nice dinner but then hardly ate it (even the plain rice). Feeling also tired although I was fairly productive at home yesterday. The weather could also be playing a role. Today I am working home remotely because I am still not feeling energetic. Just talked to someone who has a friend who was talking about her effects of the chemo brain. She in fact is lacking the enzyme to break down the chemo in her body. Now that they found that out she is on the mend. Didn't even know such a thing existed. Always learning something new. I must say that every day I am feeling better. I have been working and doing other things and most of the time forgetting what I have just been through. Maybe that is the problem. I might have overdone it and now my body is reminding me. Well, there have been so few days like this and even during chemo so I have so much to thank God for. No reason to complain but to ask you to pray with me for strength right now and continued healing. They say 6-12 months. I and those around me are having trouble being patient. It has been long enough but on the other hand mine is very short compared to many going through chemo. I am aleady feeling a bit better this afternoon. I am thankful for my friend down in El Salvador and his church who are fasting and praying for me today. Talked with him last night. They had already planned to fast and pray for me today before knowing that the last couple of days have been a bit of a struggle. Thankfully, I am still functioning but it just takes more to keep going. Constant reminder that God is the one who gives me the strength and it is a gift. I share with you below something on "Perspective is Everything". Pray it is an encourgement to you as it was for me when shared by a friend of mine recently. This is especially important as the drugs and the way my mind and emotions are these days my perspective gets easily turned around as well as what I hear and I think the worst and I am more sensitive.

For His Glory,

Ruth

Perspective is Everything

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs.We have wallsaround our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

Decision: Silicone vs. Saline

2007-01-04T17:52:00.000-08:00

AT THE END OF THIS YOU WILL FIND A WAY TO HELP ME AT THIS POINT OF MY JOURNEY

Dear Friends,

I am learning more and more each day about this journey. It is a longer road than I thought and there are delays and detours along the path. I heard a message the other day that said: "If we don't get our hopes up then we won't be disappointed." I remember when I asked my plastic surgeon how much time it would take for the reconstruction process. He responded with, "You have a long road ahead of you." Not the words I wanted to hear. So I started moving the process along as quickly as possible by going once a week (the doctor told my I could come as often as once a week) for the expander to receive saline injections. But God had a different plan which I have had to learn to accept. I am in the process of learning to be less frustrated in life about things that are not in my way or in my timing, as I try to remember that God's ways are perfect and His timing is perfect. There is a reason for everything. So, the process of breast reconstruction is timed by God. He knows my body and how fast the skin can stretch, He knows how fast my body can adjust, He knows how much time is needed for Him to reveal which route to take-Silicone or Saline implant, He knows what is going to be happening in my life the next months and when will be the most convenient time for the operation, He knows when my body will be ready emotionally and physically for the implant. So I wait on Him.

It is surely timed by God. I thought that I would have the saline fillings as close together as possible to speed up the process by going once a week because I wanted to get this process done and over and also get the other two operations out of the way as soon as possible to be able to move on (I think I, as well as those around me were not aware of the process ahead or I forgot the information in the information overload phase earlier on). However, with my doctor’s schedule and mine it became every other week. OK I thought, that will just delay it a bit and I can have the operation in February or March. That was my idea. But God had another idea. This was God managing the scheduling since my skin was no longer able to stretch that quickly and I was starting to wonder ( am a bit anxious about going again for more fluid) how any more fluid could fit in the expander any way. In fact a few weeks ago I had to have him hold back from putting the whole amount in. This past week he was able to put the whole amount in, but I got the news that I would have to wait a month more for more saline because my skin needed more time to stretch (was starting to look shiny). OK, I get it loud and clear, God is in control and not me!!!! So, once the expander is filled well beyond the final size then there will be an operation to put in the “permanent” implant. They go into the same incision from before which have healed beautifully by the team of my great Physician (God) and my plastic surgeon. After that they will surgically create the nipple.

Well, God is surgically working on my body both outside and inside. Lot’s of pain (not physically) but the results are going to be great both outside and inside, that I am sure, because He who began a work in my will bring it to completion. That is a promise from God’s Word. I am growing by leaps and bounds feeling like there is not more that can go into my expander but there was amazingly more room and no discomfort this time. I keep on wanting God to stop from the chiseling away of my insides because of the pain but I know that he is getting rid of the impurities and getting me ready for the next steps of my life. In my weakness HE is made strong. He is teaching me life lessons. Learning to praise God even in the valleys of our life and seeing His blessings.
Now, here is the way in which you might be able to support and help me at this stage of the journey. I am in the midst of making the decision to go for a Saline or Silicone implant. Until recently there would not have been a decision to make, but Silicone is back on the market. My Doctor is comfortable with both and does not have a preference at this point. Many other countries have only been using Silicone for years. I have been told a few things regarding both options which I will wait to tell you.
My request is that if you have time and enjoy researching here is an opportunity to assist me in searching for information regarding the two options. I have been referred to www.mentorcorp.com. This might be a start. Would be great for help summarizing the information. I am in information overload and one of my strengths is not pulling information together even when I have less trouble focusing and do not have the patience for the web. My best way of learning is through experience but I do need tangible information as part of this decision making process. Another way to help is to gather information from friend’s of yours who have already been through this process to get their feedback on the pros and cons. Thanking you in advance for what ever information you can find for me. With many of you in the medical community and with Breast Cancer being so common these days I am sure there is a wealth of experience we can glean from. I will share the information later on the blog so it can assist others in the future.

Thanks,

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com New pictures coming soon

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends, Happy New Year! Feliz Año Nuevo! Frohes Neu Jahr! Well, it is January 1st and almost a year on this journey. A year that I would not like to repeat and yet it was so rich and full of blessings that I would not want to have passed it by. I look forward to the new year and what God has for me this year. God uses those tough times in our life to grow us more like Him. A year of many changes and some very difficult life challenges. God promised that he would be glorified and that He has. He is faithful to His promises. I thank Him: -For His faithfulness ("I will never leave thee nor forsake thee") -For His love and blessings (we really learn to see that in the valleys of our lives which help us to persevere and keep the hope. I was reminded today that our hearts are either softened during the storms in our lives and we get to know our Lord more or our hearts are hardened and we turn away. I pray that my heart continues to be softened.) -For all the things I am learning about myself and others through this journey. Lessons that are life changing. I am a new person and I am still trying to understand how I fit in to God's plan for my new life. -That I am cancer free -That He was faithful in being my manager of my health as He told me He would and is continuing to be-For a skilled surgeon and plastic surgeon -For those in the medical profession at my health center and hospital administering my treatments -For those who gave me my shots -For Family -For Friends -For being carried through chemo and not looking or feeling much like a chemo patient -For minimul side effects (not one day or part of a day in bed, only three days of a stomach that didn't feel great in fact I most always had a huge appetite, no GI problems, no mouth sores, no pain) -A great wig -My hair growing back quickly (eye brows and lashes were not gone for long) -Support from family and friends emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. -A supportive work environment -A fruitful Bible Study group at my house -Learning to relax and not feel guilty -For e-mails and phone calls from around the world with words of love and encouragement -Those new people I have met on this journey and been able to talk to and minister too as a result of this journey. I had a real problem with sickness and hospitals but thanks to working in the medical environment, going through Leukemia with a very special little friend of mine a few years back, my Dad's health issues, and finally my own struggle with Breast Cancer I am able to talk about things I never ever imagined I would be able to talk about and share about my experiences. THESE ARE JUST A HANDFUL OF THE THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR. The last months have not been easy. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. It takes so much to hold in the emotions. Sometimes I am more quiet because it takes all my strength to stay strong and keep going. I feel emotionally tired and drained. Sometimes the tears just come unexpectedly or I say things that are not the way I mean to say them. I am thinking one thing and something totally different comes out. I have moments when I am real sensitive. I feel overwhelmed with what is important. Have trouble when things are asked of me or I feel are being asked of me and I have nothing more to give so I starting pushing the person or thing away to protect me. No room left in me for another thing. But I don’t always know what is happening and don’t know I am overloaded (I look fine and think I am fine) until I react. I can’t do everything at once and need to have patience to go step by step. Having to try to focus on one thing at a time and taking time out to not think about what needs to be done but to do something fun and relaxing. With work being crazy (feel like I am constantly getting more into a hole instead of moving forward except for this past week). I many times am ready for a change of pace when I come home and don’t want the same feeling of lack of moving forward with things that have to get down outside of work. However, I am staring to be able to focus on some new things such as organizing the pictures I have down loaded from my digital camera. I got the camera just as I got diagnosed and never had a chance to do more then learn how to down load them which I was doing so I could share them on the blog.

Well, I started this in the morning as well as some other entries that I will share with you all throughout the week and put them on the blog including some pictures. www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year.

Ruth

Update on my 2 month post chemo doctors appointment

2006-12-14T18:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Thanks for your prayers, support, encouragment and e-mails. I am feeling stronger this week emotionally. Many circumstances are different but I do not wish my circumstances to dictate my emotions. They aren't actually much different, it is just that God is giving me more strength to handle them and yes the situations have eased up a bit. Feel a bit clearer in my mind (chemo brain) and being able to focus a bit more and handle more. I am getting things accomplished at work and outside of work and that makes me definitly feel like I am able to move forward step by step again and to start catching up on the months of lost time and have more emotional energy. Making more space and not so much having to concentrate on my health. I am being able to slowly introduce some of the foods I was staying away from. So many things I have gotten behind on around the house. I guess I have not really lost the time. I learned so much about my self this past year, grew in many ways, learned many new things, learned to relax (at least once in a while). Still feeling overwhelmed and having trouble focusing. I have to have patience with myself that I can not do as much as I used to. I have to lower my expectations. I am still very thankful that I have not spent a day in bed and do not come home from work and take a nap but am able to have a productive evening.

I met with my oncologist on Wednesday afternoon. All went very well. My blood tests all look great. My next check-up is in three months. I was asked if I have shortness of breath or pain to which I said no. My body feels quite strong. I am walking my two miles to work and two miles back again. Everyone was happy to see me and said I looked great. They were all wanting to see me without my wig. I walked around a bit with my wig in my hand because they were all wanting to see and were commenting on how great I looked without the wig and said that I could do either well. It is interesting how some can wear hats but not wigs. Some baseball caps look best. Some wigs look best. Some scarfs look best. I am a wig person. I will not leave the house without it. Now, I am more comfortable in the house with nothing but my own hair now that it is growing and does keep my head a bit warm. The last couple of days I have been putting on a baseball cap in the house. I think I will have to wait at least a month before going outside without the wig.

I brought some baked goods which were quickly eaten up by everyone around. Was nice to be able to share and say thank you for all their care for me. I ran into a woman, who I met for the first time when I was checking in for one of my chemo sessions. She commented on how much she liked my wig. Every time after that I ran into her even when my day or her day was different then our usual day. I was very surprised to see her yesterday. She was not there on her regular day and was very surprised to see me. She asked right away about my hair. By the way, she is a baseball cap person. She looks great in them. Got to share my experience with her and with the woman in the room next to her and to share the miracle that God has done in my life. A real sense of community. Can't believe that I am done and have anything to say to someone going through chemo. A year ago, I would have had no idea that I would be on this journey. But God has a purpose in everything. We suffer and in turn we are prepared to help those who are on the same path that we never would have been able to come along side to encourage.

I hope this makes sense. For some reason I can't get my thoughts to flow and they are hard to express.

I am thankul that God has given me peace this evening and is helping me to persevere.

I have many things that are important to do but I need to ask God for what His priorities are because I can't do everything and I should't put too much stress on me.

Blessings and wishing you all a blessed holiday season.

Ruth

Chemo Brain Explained and Prayer Requests

2006-12-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

The last weeks have been quite rough although since last Thursday things have been a bit better. Many times I forget what I have just been through and am still going through. The chemo brain is tough and the emotions I am experiencing are tough. Working 30 hours at work and no longer remotely is also difficult because I get even more easily overwhelmed and work has been lots of crisis, stress, and volume even for a well person. It is emotionally exhausting and It takes a lot to hold it together on the inside. But God is carrying me through. I got an e-mail from someone I only know by name who explained very well what chemo brain is. It is so true. I share it with you to understand what I am feeling:

"She also has learned of "chemo brain" online, and this has explained to her much of what she has been experiencing. She had told her doctor that when she is teaching Reading lessons to one, two or three kids at a time, everything is fine. But when she is out in the "bigger world" of the school, with many conversations coming at her, etc., it is much more confusing and harder to focus. Also hard to remember dates and meeting times, etc.
I would caution you to listen to your body and take it easy."

Please pray for those around me having to deal with my chemo brain and me to also have patience with myself.

This explaination is all true. Being with lots of people is tough. In fact sometimes I get hypersensitivity to lights and voices. I don't always know waht it is that is causing me to react and sometimes too late. I always remembered dates and times without a calendar. I find I have to be much more careful at work with the details and it takes more to focus. Guess one reason I love being out walking on the golf course (I do hit a few balls now and then and practice putting a little) at Franklin Park is that there is nature, sunsets, beautiful clouds, and hardly any people. I can forget everything and focus on God's country. Allows my mind to get cleared up. I am very thankful for the weather staying warmer this year so can still be out on the golf course a bit.

Tomorrow, at 3pm (Wed. December 13th) I have my two month follow-up appointment with my oncologists. Got my blood work done last week and will be getting the results tomorrow. My oncologist told me that I was cancer free when I finished in October (I feel that I was cured even before the treatments started). People look at me and say I look great and they would never know that I had just been through chemo. I look great but there are struggles on the inside more emotionally then physically. That is what others can not see and then put expectations on me (I do it to me too) that frustrate me. I am not even always aware of when I am doing too much. I did enjoy baking some things to bring to my appointment to share with all those who have taken such good care of me.

I have put up some new pictues on the blog. www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Thanks for all your support and prayers,

Ruth

My Hair is Really Growing

2006-12-12T19:57:00.000-08:00

In the midst of some really tough weeks at least I have the excitment of watching my hair grow. Started just before I finished Chemo (end of September). God does bring blessings in the midst of the storm. If I didn't wear the wig I could be quite in style these days but it is a bit too manly for me. In fact my landlord, Jim, does not recognize me when I have the wig off (before my hair started growing you would not catch me without the wig even rearly when I was alone). He asks who that man is. I have tasted what it is like to be a guy and your head gets cold easier. But I use less shampoo, can get read quicker in the morning since it doesn't take so long to wash-rarely needs it anyway and no blow drying (takes a second with a towel). I will put a few pictues here although my hair is much longer already (over my ears). It is still thick but very fine and soft. I will take a new one this week and put that up soon.

Finally A Chance to Escape -Nantucket

2006-12-12T19:42:00.000-08:00

My friend Alexandra visited from Sweden and her parents gave us a trip to Nantucket. Alexandra was surprised that I said yes to the invitation. She didn't expect I would be up to it. We were the only ones in the Inn except for the house keeper and we had a room with a working fire place. Nice to be on a fairly deserted (off season) Island for a few days eventhough it was a bit chilly. In one of the pictures notice the pink balloon which isthe color representing Breast Cancer.

Me ringing the Bell

2006-12-12T19:20:00.000-08:00

Me with my mom as I am ringing the bell and saying a poem in completion of my 8 chemo treatments.

The Poem goes like this:

Ring This Bell Three Times Well
It's told to clearly say
The Treatments Done
This course is done
And I am on my way

8th Chemo Update (Final Chemo)

2006-12-04T19:06:00.000-08:00

Check out the blog with many new updates and pics of me at the zoo, me with no hair, and many other entries. www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Dear Friends,

I know I have been silent for a while. PRAISE GOD I FINISHED CHEMO ON OCTOBER 5TH. I rang the bell at the end of chemo and ended up talking to several at the clinic who were asking me questions. Sure didn’t expect to be one who would be experienced in chemo therapy to encourage others. Of course every experience is different and mine was much easier then many. They refer to me as the star patient. The many prayers carried me. I believe the Lord had already healed me of the cancer before the chemo and therefore my body was strong and handled the chemo well with minimal side effects (no stomach or GI problems and didn’t spend even a day in bed).

Please continue to keep the prayers coming. Don’t stop. In many ways the last weeks have been even more difficult mentally and emotionally and I am still not able to eat what ever I want. Thanks so much for your support and prayers. Many of you have said that I have been very much on your mind and in your prayers the last weeks. I have really needed it. They have been some of the toughest weeks of the whole journey.

October 5th was my last Chemo Treatment (8 treatments in total). Thank you Lord for helping me to get through 8 chemo treatments. You would think there is great celebration. Well, I have to tell you it is actually been a real let down. Yes, after Chemo on Thursday I walked 9 holes of golf on Saturday with out dragging at all, but the drugs are still in me and I seem to be more tired. Probably, partly to do with the day after chemo having to start some very stressful weeks of work to get two (not one) RO1 government grants out for November 1st. Hard enough to do one, never mind two and in my condition. I worked 36 hours at the lab this week and have worked very little remotely these last weeks which is more tiring on me. I even have walked several days to and from work which is 2 miles each way.

I have been having a bit of chemo brain which means it is tough to focus, I am overwhelmed easily, and I can’t think straight, and sometimes can’t think or talk fast enough. Also, I was afraid to depend on my brain. In fact, one day it was quite bad. As I was getting out of my car at my work to have my care valet parked, I told myself to not lock my keys in the car. Well, I did, and because I felt like I was walking in a fog I walked away quickly and they didn’t know where to find me. I came out 5 hours later and was surprised to see my car where I had left it. I call it a miracle tank of gas. I thankfully got gas last minute before I got to work and when I came out five hours later my tank was still on full and also lasted me over a week afterwards. I was afraid to drive to work again because I had drawn so much attention to me. Instead, I became known as the woman who locked her keys in the car and have developed many new friends with the valet parking guys. Things happen for a reason. I am now very comfortable parking there.

Well, I am learning that Low tides come before Victories and Low tides come after Victories. I know this but it is rough. We want life to be lots of High Tides but instead it is Low Tide, High Tide, Low Tide, High Tide, Low Tide, High Tide, Low Tide and so on. Lord help me to accept those Low Tides. God has just done a great Victory in my life. I am considered cancer free. It has been very intense time but it did not feel intense since I really felt God carrying me through like the feet of the dear.
I just finished 8 Physical Therapy sessions where we have been working a bit on my posture but most has been massage therapy. Now that chemo and Physical Therapy are done I can focus on the reconstruction of my breast. The plastic surgeon said I have a long way to go. Will go every week or every other week for more saline. This week they injected 60 cc’s. On December 13th I will have my follow-up appointment with my oncologist.

2 Corinthians 1:9-11

“Indeed, I our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us form such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us I answer to the prayers of many.”

Thanks so much for your continuous prayers and support.

Ruth

A Trip to the Zoo!! (Pics of Me) Many Gifts from God at the Zoo

2006-10-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

God blessed us with so many gifts at the zoo. We saw many of God's miracles. We were there late in the day so I would not be in so much sun and thankfully the Franklin Park Zoo is mostly shaded. Late in the day the animals are very active. REally fun to watch the Lion roaring and high on the cliff. Saw it also close up and I could really see the way he looked at us and everything else the personification of Christ. (The Lion of Judah). Also, we got to watch the tigers fight and play and start their advances (a rare esperience).

An Exciting Moment!!! Peach Fuzz

2006-10-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

An exciting moment. My hair is starting to grow back. Just noticed the little peach fuzz on my head on Monday night (Sept. 26) when getting ready for bed. This is really exciting and I am waiting in expectation to see how it comes back. Right now it looks very blond.

Now, almost a month later it still looks blond and is growing quite quickly. It is long enough to grab (1/4 of an inch). This is really exciting. Yes, Curt, God has answered your pray and my hair is growing back. Now we can thank Him for that. Thank you Lord.

Anxious to watch it in all of it's stages. Will it be curly and then remember it was straight and then straighten out? I hope it does not come back gray. I didn't have gray before. Looks like I might end up being a blond, at least for a bit. Waiting for my eye brows to start growing again too.

Are you ready to see me bald?

2006-10-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

My little nephew prayers every night for Aunt Ruth's hair to grow back. For me I will only leave the house with my wig on. The other day a woman said in my buiding at work stopped me and said, "I have been meaning to tell you how much I like your new hair style." I told her that actually I do not hafe hair and it was a wig and I was goign through chemo therapy. She said she would never had known had I not said something. I thank God that I have had strenth and have looked so great.

Update after 7th Chemo Treatment

2006-10-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

For various reasons I have not updated the blogspot since the end of July. You will see lots of new entries even though many are after the fact. Also, check the archives for ones sent previously. I have been having some problems uploading pictures but hope it will work as before and you can see some pics of me. www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Dear Friends,

I am getting ready for my eighth chemo treatment which is my final treatment. The 5th is the date of the final treatment. I have been ready for several weeks to be finished but have had to wait patiently. I must admit that is has in some ways gone very quickly and I am so thankful to God that I have not had the side effects that many have and my body has received the chemo quite well. I know that for other types of cancer the chemo is more intensive and for a much longer period of time. There have been many positive outcomes both physically, emotionally, lifestyle, mentally, spiritually, etc. I do feel strong. In God’s waiting room I am waiting for what He has for me after I recover. I feel that I am getting ready to start another new chapter and journey but not yet sure of the details or when.

Thanks for your prayers for me regarding the bumps on my arm. I had a great unexpected appointment with my Oncologist NP and we sorted out many things. She sent me for an ultrasound to rule out blood clot or problems with my veins. All was fine so I was able to have my chemo as planned. The bumps (inflammation) are still there but don’t hurt as much and interestingly enough are on the opposite side of the mastectomy.

During this appointment, I again reminded them that I have a reaction to Benadryl. My fifth and sixth treatments which are with Taxol they give Benadryl. I became very agitated, antsy, uncomfortable, felt like crawling out of my skin. Couldn’t sit comfortably and peaceful. They thought it was anxiety. I knew it was the drugs. I found out that the sixth treatment my oncologist came in because I was really reacting. She talked to me and my mom for ½ an hour and I do not remember ever seeing her or talking to her. My NP looked up Benedrly and sure enough restless leg syndrome and another symptom I was having were listed. So last week they did not give me Benadryl and what a difference. I also felt much better after the treatment in many ways. The hardest part is the mood swings and lack of motivation. I have many days that I have really been able to focus and get lots of work done and am very energetic and am thankful for those days. Been a little more tired this time but still not at all what others face. This week I have taken some naps. I am thankful to the Lord for providing strength on a daily basis helping me to accomplish things that I have to. God has multiplied my time and I have seem him give me supernatural ability to focus and accomplish things quickly then I would be able to on my own.

Thanks for your continual pray and support. Please pray that I have patience when I am not feeling my usually go getter energetic self and also patience with dealing with the moodiness. It is not fun for me or others around me. Pray for patience for them too and to know that when the treatments are over I will be back to a more predictable Ruth.

Blessings,

Ruth

Mom and I at Chemo

2006-10-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ready for 7th Chemo Treatment

2006-10-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts with me on this journey. I am way behind in updating the blog, but I will get there. I am anxious to be at the end of this road. I need to persevere. It is hard when you see the end so close. I want to run ahead and get there now, but I must be patient.

I will have my second to last treatment (at least I think so) tomorrow. Pray for me as I go for my blood work today. I have a bump on the inner part of my arm which I am not sure will interfere with the blood work or IV tomorrow. Have to find out what it is. My chemo is at 1:30pm tomorrow and finishes 5 or 6 hours later. Please pray that I will not feel so restless during the treatment. I can't get comfortable but usually at some point finally fall asleep for a bit due to the drugs.

This drug, taxol, which I thought was going to be easier has been rougher. My stomach has been fine but sometimes no specific food interests me. I can't wait to eat what ever I want. I can't have acidic, spicy foods. NO tomato base. TIred of bland foods (not totally). I thankfully have not been having insomnia, yet a few restless nights and back aches. Feeling still strong in legs and arms and body. The hard part is the emotions. Also the first week I felt very unmotivated, overwhelmed, didn't want to have any responsibility. But because I do have responsibilities with work I have to persevere and maybe that is a good thing (but I don't like the last minute stresses when I can't always produce at that moment-hard stuff even when I am well but harder when my emotions are where they are). Still doing other things than work to keep me balanced, living a normal life and giving me positive energy. God helps me to keep perspective. Haven't been able to relax. Not tired during the day. Work keeps me too much of feeling responsibility. The few times I have tried to nap I haven't been able to fall asleep. I still don't look like I am in chemo. I still have my eye brows but my eye lashes are very thin.

Been a tough week trying to getting a grant.

Blessings,

Ruth

Picture the Day after my 5th Treatment

2006-10-03T18:53:00.000-07:00

A trip to East Boston to Run Some errands.

The MIracle in me described

2006-10-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

Most of the time I do not feel like there are major drugs in my body.
As a friend of mine says to people: “For every drop of chemo going into
Ruth’s body the Lord puts his hand upon her head and gives her more of His Holy Spirit.

God's promise that He would be glorified!!!

Ready for 6th Chemo Treatment

2006-10-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I know I am so far behind in keeping you updated as well as the blog. Thanks for your prayers and support.

My first taxol treatment went really well. During the treatment (longer then the previous ones) went much better then I was expecting. I had to take 5 steroid pills the night before and 4 the morning of. Then they gave me more intravenously. Everything was intravenous this time. The only side effect I had was that the benadryl made me sleepy so I slept a bit during the chemo treatment and I was light sensitive and needed the lights out and my eyes closed.

My GI system has been working great. Only had a few days this past week of heartburn but not bad at all. Just adjusted my food. I think that diet is so important during these treatments but it is hard. I really miss being able to be more free with what I eat. No acidic foods (that means tomato based too and orange juice to name a few. The tomato one is hard.) and no spicy foods. I am still being careful in regard to potassium but not as strict as I was earlier. I also should have things room temperature or cold. I am thankful for the support I have for helping me to stick to what keeps my body feeling well. My stomach has felt great except for the first three days of the very first treatment in June. I am very thankful to God for this blessing. Last week I did have some days when I did not have interest in eating because nothing sounded good but I did eat. I was waiting for the two major side effects of the taxol which were excessive moodiness (I was to warn those close to me) and flue like ache and pains. Well the moodiness was a week delayed and it was not fun. The only pain I had was my lower back and it wasn't enough o take any pain medication.

Thanks for your prayers for me in regard to getting my injection (by the way it costs $3,500). A friend I hadn't seen in a long time called to tell me that he would have great pleasure in giving me a nice shot in my arm. He is a pediatrician. He and his family were coming in to town to the Children's museum and would be able to stop by. My regular people for my shot were not available so I was very thankful for my friend Andrew and also to be able to see his wife and three daughters. Talking about friends I have not seen in a long time, I have had two visits recently from out of town guests who made a side trip to stop by for a few hours to see me. Haven't seen either one in years. I will have a friend visiting from Germany for a few days soon and my mom is coming for a few days for this chemo treatment tomorrow.

Well it is time for the 6th Treatment. Was supposed to be having 8 total but it looks like they are adding two more. I think this has to do with the fact that the cancer was bilateral. The treatment starts at 10am. Will probably last until about 4pm.

I am still working mostly from home but do go in my hours here and there.

I am feeling strong and most of the time almost forget that I am in chemo other than having to think about eating differently, drinking lots of water, some movements sometimes I feel a strain, and medical appointments (bloodworm, chemo, organizing parts of my care-shot giver, person to go with me to chemo, and coverage afterwards at least for some day). God has so well provided for me. I thank him for the strength. This past week I finally felt motivated to start catching up on things around the house that have gott4en behind in the last 5 months (cleaning, organizing). It felt so good. I felt so much more like myself. Maybe it was the steroids but either way I believe the Lord was giving me strength and encouragement.

I was picking up someone from T stop the other day and a guy on the street made a comment, "You look great." I thought to my self, if he only knew that I was in the middle of chemo. Yes, I don't look like I am in chemo. My head is feeling more cleared out this last two weeks and it is starting to be easier to focus on things (and especially work). Everything becoming more routine and less overwhelming. Someone at work, who has not seen me since before my operation, said ”When it rains it pours. I asked him what was going on in his life. He said, "No I am talking about you. The cancer and then your Dad. And look you are still smiling." Yes, I am thankful for the joy and the blessings and faith. I feel carried and my attitude is that this is not a difficult time although it is. I am a person who worries about the little things and am thankful for the blessing of learning to live for today and that God is still giving me PEACE beyond understanding. Thank you LORD"

Got to run to get my blood taken and to work on a grant.

Be looking for many updates to the blog as I am so far behind. In preparation mode. Just need some before others so there is a delay. www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Have an awesome day!!

Thanks for everything and being with me on this journey! May God continue to be glorified as He has promised us that he would on this journey.

Ruth

5th Chemo Session

2006-10-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

This will be a quick update. Sorry for the sparse additions to the blog spot lately. With chemo, work, life, and my dad's passing away it has been busy. The funeral was a real celebration of my dad's life. It was a very special time at home with family and friends. Thank you all for your support and prayers for me and my family. I will tell you all more about that time at home soon.

Pray for me especially tomorrow and the next days as I start the second half of my chemo treatment. It is taxol. Since I have done really well so far they expect that I will also tolerate this quite well. The last couple of days I forget that I am in chemo therapy. However there are many things to do. Please pray for peace for me as this treatment sounds like it has more possible side effects. I was used to the last treatments and what to expect. This is a whole new set of procedures. I start with taking streroids this evening and again tomorrow morning and then everything starts at 9am. With the other treatment I have felt fine and able to function the whole time. Pray that I will not have much side effects and especially the expected two days of moodiness. Pray for those who are around me for their patience as well as mine. I also find myself a bit clumsy (breaking and dropping things more then usual), sensitive, and sometimes a bit of chemo brain (not too bad though).

I found out yesterday that they still want me to receive the shot the day after the treatment. I am still trying to find a person to administer that for me since it was last minute that I found out.. By the way the treatments have been changed from every Friday for four weeks to every other week for a total of four treatments over the 8 weeks. Also, if any of you are available during days to be on call in case I should need some coverage (so far I have been feeling fine and even been able to cook) for these next two months which might be different. Just let me know.

Thanks again for all of your support and hope you are having a nice summer. I have been able to enjoy some golfing again which is great therapy for my arm (not pain or discomfort) as well as a great way to be out in nature and relax from all of the responsibilities and overwhelm.

Blessings,

Ruth

IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW-Song I sang at Funeral

2006-10-03T18:46:00.000-07:00

IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW

Our prayers have all been answered
I finally arrived
The healing that had been delayed
Has now been realized
No one’s in a hurry
There’s no schedule to keep
We’re all enjoying Jesus
Just sitting at His feet

If you could see me now
I’m walking streets of gold
If you could see me now
I’m standing tall and whole
If you could see me now
You’d know I’ve seen His face
If you could see me now
You’d know the paid is erased

You wouldn’t want me
To ever leave this place
If you could only see me now
My light and temporary trials
Have worked out for my good
To know it brought Him glory
When I misunderstood
Though we’ve had our sorrows
They can never compare
What Jesus has in store for us
No language can share

You wouldn’t want me
To ever leave this perfect place
If you could only see me now,
If you could see me now,
If you could see me now

Song I sang at my father’s funeral service.
I like this because it reminds me that my Dad now
Has a new body that and is standing tall and whole.
He never lived to be in a hurry and in heaven, as
This song describes, no one is in a hurry.
He is in a more perfect place and therefore I have peace.

Song made popular by the group TRUTH

Relections on Dad's Funeral

2006-10-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I wanted to write a long time ago to update you on how things went when I was home for my dad’s funeral and how we are doing in regard to my Dad’s heavenly home going. I must say it was a peaceful, blessed time. It was a real celebration of his life. We know my Dad is in a better place and will not have to endure the suffering that his illnesses would have caused him. God took him out of the suffering before he had to go down that painful road. By the way my Dad thought that he was in the Adirondeck mountains the whole time he was in the intensive care unit.

We were all able to be home even my brother (5 hours later and he would have left from Portugal and been on his way to Iraq and not been able to come for the funeral). Even his wife with the two children (month old baby) were able to come from California.

We all put together the details for the viewing and funeral and service. God helped us to work so well as a team.

I am picked as the spokes person and writer for the family. Both are things that don’t come naturally. I have to rely totally on the Holy Spirit to give it to me. I was overwhelmed with the chemo and all there was to do with the funeral that I couldn’t focus. I had to take things step by step and if I didn’t get something done, it would be fine. I got to Albany and forgot I was in charge of the write up of my Dad for the bulletin. God helped me to write it up quickly and not be so concerned about being perfect but being used of God to express who my Dad was. There was a song I wanted to sing (If You Could See Me Now-Really expresses my Dad now with a new body standing tall and whole-you can see the words on another blog entry, it is beautiful) but hadn’t had time to practice and also my voice unpredictable with the chemo. But I practiced and my little nephew and niece were in the room looking at me with big eyes and smiles on their faces and there I was with my kerchief (my niece saw my hair on the desk and asked whose hair it was and I said it was mine). Thanks to God everything got done in the way it was to be done.

The visitation hours (4) were a very special time. God gave me strength and most people had no idea I was in chemo therapy. Those who knew were so surprised at how well I looked and said no one would have guessed I was in chemo or that I had a wig on. They said it looked so natural. My cheeks hurt from smiling instead of crying. I felt very blessed to have a Dad who made an impact in people’s lives in a quiet way. There were 300-400 people (many people I have not seen for many years). We had it in the church and the aisle was full the whole four hours with people waiting about an hour. I was so blessed by some friends who came all the way from Boston and especially one family who brought their two young children with them. The 4 year old constantly talks about Ruth’s Dad being in heaven and having a new body.

The funeral service was very special. My nine year old nephew Chris and I both gave testimonials as well as a few other people. I sang the song and my niece did hand motions to the song. She also played the flute. My Dad loved brass instruments and we were able to last minute get someone very special (my dad taught him how to do some electrical work when he was a little boy-is now in high school) to play trumpet for the service. We also had people bring flowers and the grandchildren collected them in baskets. I wanted the children to sing a song called, “Heaven Is a Wonderful Place, filled with Glory and Grace, I want to see my Savior’s face, Heaven is a Wonderful place, I want to go there.”, but it was not possible. However, when we were at the grave site (the little cemetery near my parent’s house) I felt the urge to lighten the atmosphere and wanted to sing the song because it is very upbeat. I thought my sisters will think I am crazy. Then all of a sudden Sharon looked at me and with tears in her eyes said start singing that song, NOW. So we all started singing and the grandchildren really joined in. Thank you Lord for that special moment!!!

My mom is doing well. Sure it is hard to loose your husband of 47 years that you spent all your time with and has taken care of so lovingly over the years of his illness. There were some special moments in those last months and weeks for her and all of us to say our earthly goodbyes. She is keeping busy and yes there are lonely moments and this is a chapter no one wants but it is a chapter in life. She has already started to reach out to others who have lost their husbands and bringing the women together. Mom has also been able to be here for my last two chemo’s and has been a great help.

We are all doing well since we know that where my Dad is he has a healthy body and that he is no longer feeling a burden to any one (that was what he felt not us). He is with his Heavenly father. Death is a celebration of life. By death we have life. “Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” (Romans 6:8). “A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth” (Ecclesiastes 7:1). “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you….Because I live, you will live also.” (John 14:18-19)

To close I would share: Ecclesiastes 7:14, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider; God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.”

Blessings,

Ruth

Dad's Peaceful Passing

2006-10-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

We are writing to let you know that my Dad graduated to his heavenly home at 4pm on Wednesday, August 9th. He went peacefully to his Heavenly Father not in any pain or suffering surrounded by family and friends singing hymns. In June he requested a quick day trip to see Ruth in Boston and a week later ended up in the ICU. Steve and son David were here in June and Debbie, Sharon, and families have all been around. We have all experienced some wonderful, memorable, special moments over the last months. Karl came home 10 days ago with oxygen and hospice care. Mom has faithfully been by his side caring for him during his lengthy illness, as the two of them have been side by side the last 47 years, which has been such a privilege. Karl was the best patient. He has had a wonderful appetite and has been very aware of everything going on, very alert mentally, and was able to speak quite clearly and able to express his desires and wishes. He said several things on Tuesday night, which were indicators that he was really prepared to go see His Heavenly Father and that it would be soon. Wednesday he ate a great breakfast and lunch and then took a turn for the worse. Debbie unexpectedly (prompted by God) stopped by the house with the kids and got to be with mom and dad through those final couple of hours. Ruth got to talk to him on the phone and he responded with a groan. My brother got a message from my sister through my brothers wife that dad was doing bad and was able to call from Azores, Portugal. 5 hours later and he would have been on a plane for the final leg of his journey to Iraq. My brother talked to my dad and then dad stopped breathing and peacefully passed away with no struggle at all. He passed away with every one singing him into heaven and we are sure it continued as the Lord and the angels received him. My mom was holding his hand and released him into the hand of our Lord. Angela, David, and new baby Zachary are coming in tomorrow. We are at peace and there is a mighty sense of peacefulness and God's presence. Joan, Ruth, Debbie, Eric, Brian, Jamie, Christopher, Curt, Sharon, Keith, Nicholas, and Hayley surrounded by family and friends were all able to be here before the body was removed.

Arrangements:

Tuesday August 15th

Visiting hours at Loudonville CommunityChurch
(374 Loudon Road, Loudonville, NY, 518-426-1093, www.lcchurch.org) from 4-8 pm

Wednesday August 16th

10 am Visiting hours Loudonville Community Church 11 am Funeral Loudonville Community Church

You may bring a few stems of flowers to be gathered during the service 12:30 Procession to Cemetery Bloomingrove Cemetery
~2:00 Reception at the Loudonville Community Church
Those wishing to remember Karl Sieck in a special way may send a contributions in memory of Karl Sieck to:
Loudonville Community Church or

Community Hospice of Rensselaer (295 Valley View Boulevard, Rensselaer, NY 12144, phone 518-285-8100)

Family flowers only please.Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and support during this time and through the years.

Blessings,Ruth

My Dad Graduates to Heaven

2006-10-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I have been delayed in keeping you updated. My wig looks great. Pic coming. People don't know it is a wig.

Third Chemo went even better then first time. I feel really strong. Don't look like I am in chemo and also have been resuming many of my activities including driving a golf ball75 yards.

I have my Fourth Chemo this Friday the 11th at 8:30am.

I got a call around 2pm today that my father had taken a turn for the worst. He talked about funeral arrangements last night and his wishes. He ate breakfast and lunch and then shortly after started turning blue. I got to talk to him and he responded with a groan at least. The social worker helped to reach my brother through the Red Cross and my brother called minutes before my Dad passed at 4pm. That is so like my father to be precise. 4pm on the dot. Between 2 and 4 I decided to go to Albany my Aunt was able and willing to drive me. She is on her way here and does not yet know that he has graduated to his heavenly home and is with his heavenly Father. He is in a much better place. He died peacefully, in no pain and with everyone singing around him. He now has the heavenly angels around him singing and has a new body that he can stand upright and talk and walk and run again. My sister Debbie stopped by the house unexpectedly early afternoon with the three children so they were all there. God definitely prompted her to be there. Sharon and family are on their way as we speak and I will be soon. Steve left for Iraq on Sunday so he is not in the country.

Got to run but appreciate your prayers as we make arrangements the coming days. I will come back tomorrow and the funeral will be some time after next Tuesday.

Will write more later.

Blessings,

Ruth

My New Look- Is that Really a Wig?

2006-10-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

The bottom one was how I went home the first day. Then I went back to get my "hair" cut (thinned out and bangs) you see one the first one.

Is that a Wig? I didn't know.

2006-08-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

Exactly 14 days after my first chemo treatment I started slowely loosing my hair. June 30th was myt first treatment. July 3rd I got my hair cut short. A week and a half later my hair slowly started coming out. Just strand by strand. Then I started loosing a lot when I took my shower. It would stick to me and fill up the drain. I was picking it up from all over. It was in my apartment and in my car. Then it started coming out in clumps. The process of loosing my hair was very long and probably the most traumatic part of my illness. I was still hoping and praying that I would not loose it. For that reason, I waited too long to go get fitted for the wig. But God intervened. I had to make an appointment for the fitting and ended up waiting 5 days. When I got to the appointment I was at a point of hair loss (I have always had thick hair even as a child so it was so strange to have very thin hair where you could see my scalp) that I could not wait the 7-10 days for the wig. The first wig the woman tried on me looked so much like my hair color (just a bit darker and actually really accented my already very blue eyes). I was told if I liked it I could take it then. What a blessing not to have to wait. I left work with very thin hair and returned with the wig on 45 minutes later. I do feel like I have a hat on all the time but it is starting to feel more part of me. At my Dad's funeral I kept being concerned about loosing it when people hugged me. I am now used to my head without the hair BUT I am blessed because at least at this point I still have some of my hair (some long pieces and especially in the back) which might go with the new drugs I start on on August 25th. I have many people who have no idea it is a wig and are very surprised. The scalp looks very natural. Some think I had it made with my own hair. Some say I should dye my hair this color when it grows back. I went in a week later and had the woman thin out the top and cut bangs. Many think I have a really nice new hair cut and think I should keep my hair like this when it grows back. Hard to believe that my first chemo I had long hair (middle of back), 2nd chemo short hair, 3rd chemo the wig. Waiting to see how it grows back. People say it will probably grow back curly (never had curly hair in my life). One friend of mine said that it will probaby come back curly until it remembers that it was straight before and then straightens it self out.

Update and Ready for Third Chemo Treatment

2006-07-28T02:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Sorry for the delay in keeping you up to date by e-mail. Hope you have been reading the blog to get the updates and see pics.

1. Please especially pray for me tomorrow for my third chemo treatment which is at 10:30am tomorrow (Friday). I pray that it goes like last time which was no problems with my stomach and able to live a fairly normal life (this is a gift so far from God since a leave of absence from work would be no pay and no job security since I have not been there for at least a year so I would get no benefits-at least from an official Human Resources policy. I am thankful for a very supportive boss who is being flexible and my health which is allowign me to continue to work).

2. Pray my potassium levels are back down. It is really tough on this new diet and especially breakfast.

3. Am trying to eat organic and only natural meats (the hormones are conteractive to the chemo treatments)

4. I am thankful for a great appetite and in fact I gained two pounds (not what I need but for me in this situation a good thing that I am not loosing)

5. Started loosing my hair just before the second treatment. Went a week ago Tuesday to get fitted for the wig and took one home which was a blessing since I couldn't wait 7-10 days for a wig due to already having lost so much hair. I would say that the process of loosing the hair has been probably one of the hardest parts of my journey. It has been so far a two week process. I have about 1% still. I also have my eyebrows still. I am anxious to have my house and car thourougholy cleaned to get rid of all the loose hair. I will soon have a more complete update
and pics on the blog re this experience.

6. Please pray for me to be able to sleep better. I have no problem falling asleep but it is staying asleep. I wake up every couple of hours. I have meds now but I am too afraid to take them due to the side effects. Pray I do not need to take the meds.

7. Physically I am doing remarkably well and at work they say I look great and don't look like I am going through chemo. This is a praise. However, this is also deceptive. On the outside I look great and for the most part most of time feel quite well and forget I am on chemo. But I am and I do feel overwhelmed with juggling everything that needs to be done.

8. Many of you have been asking about my Dad. I got to talk to him a few days ago (he has been asking for me). It was just a minute but a blessing and his voice was very clear. He went into rehab last Friday and then ended up back in the hospital on Saturday due to needing more oxygen then they could give at the rehab. This was a blessing since the insurance started up again. He went back to the rehab a few days ago but eh nursing home part and in what is called "Comfort Care". HIs systems are shutting down. He is communicative, in good spirits,
at peace, and eating better then he every has in his life. He could have days, weeks, or God could even grant months (would be a miracle). We are talking about care for him if he gets to the point when the insurance stops (around 60 days). Please pray for my mom and she is exhausted and is also dealing with all the thoughts and emotions that come with knowing you will soon no longer have here on earth your spouse of close to 50 years. Our prayer is that my dad would not suffer (he is in no pain now) and would pass in his sleep.

Thanks again for all your support and prayers. God is carrying me through. There is no other explanation. May He get all the glory. Thanks too for all of you who have offered to provide meals. So far since I am on a special diet and am feeling well enough so far to be able to cook and am doing well. Will let you all know when and if that changes.

Blessings,

Ruth
www.ruths-journey.blolgspot.com

Photos from Chemo Session

2006-07-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

Second Chemo Treatment

2006-07-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Well, the second round of chemo is behind me (was on Friday). I am so thankful that it went so much better this time. I really feel carried by prayer. I have felt great. My stomach and appetite have been wonderful this time as well as my energy level. Went for Hymalayian (Indian/Nepali) food on Thursday evening the night before my chemo and maybe the yogurt lassie also was another form of protection for my stomach in addition to the prayers.

I spent a pretty normal weekend. Haven't had a weekend like that for months. Felt and feel pretty much like myself (energy wise and health wise). Went to East Boston for some El Salvadorian specialty, cooked this weekend, spoke on the radio Saturday evening about my journey (unexpectedly and without preparation), Sunday went to church (people said I was looking great but I sure was loosing my hair) and a few other activities on Sunday including laying down for a bit (I haven't really been tired though so sleeping during the day as well as nights are not easy).

The first chemo treatment I didn't feel well starting the day of the treatment and for about a week. This time I was going to take more anti nausea drugs but didn't even need to do that other then the required ones (two at 8 am and two at 8 pm both on Saturday and Sunday). I am thankful for a colleague at the lab who has been giving me my shot (has to be soon after 24 hours after I finish the chemo). Thank you Lord for a great round of treatment. 2 already behind me. Many have been asking about the chemo treatment. I am at the clinic for 3-4 hours but the actual IV injection time is only about 2 hours. The time actually goes quite quickly.

My platelet counts are good and they are pleased with how my body is responding. Was encouraged yesterday to hear that I have two more treatments like the last two (July 28th and August 11th). After that there are four treatments (every Friday for one month) but these are easier treatments. Time is flying.

Please pray for me as my potassium levels are up and this is a concern. I have a great diet with lots of variety of foods and all cancer fighting foods but they are now all on the no no list. I am to stay away from bananas, broccoli, spinach, potatoes, sweet potatoes, papaya, beets, mango, prunes, milk, yogurt, etc. The low potassium foods if I eat more then 1/2 a cup they become high potassium foods. So it was a weekend of being creative and thinking hard as to what I could eat. Went grocery shopping yesterday at Whole Foods. No more meats and other products with hormones. Trying to be as organic as possible without increasing the food bill by a lot. Having to learn a new way of eating and shopping. Ate very healthy before, but now I will start even being more careful.

Thanks for all your support and prayers.

Ruth

A weekend of Camping Out at Home

2006-07-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

A blessed weekend. Boy did we camp out a few times (read about it further down). My home is a perfect retreat center and a place to relax, get away from the busyness and the noice and for me it doesn't mean going anywhere. Cecilia and her two children came to hang out for the weekend. It was real relaxing for me as well as for them. Cecilia commented that it was relaxing because there were no real visable clocks. Her husband was out of town and when she heard the need for me to have someone with me she called and said, "We are coming. " They live about 45 mintues from me.

I really relaxed and enjoyed the children (Cecilia too) very much. They gave me so much love, hugs, support, help, and attention. Cecilia feels it is a very good experience for the children to learned to help those who are sick. I was feeling pretty good and quite up to normal so I could enjoy baking cookies withe the kids, watching the World Cup games, watching the kids have fun in the backyard with the water ball sprinkler, enjoying my food, having company, playing hangman and connect four and other games. Taking some nice walks. Walking the dog. Went to church and then out to eat.

Saturday evening we were blessed with some visitors from Colombia. A dear family to me taht I stayed with for a bit in Colombia came over . I am thankfuol for the time they found to come and see me with their busy travel schedule. Rita is a cancer survivor and recently has been on this road but a much fore difficult one due to a different type of cancer. Went for a nice walk, enjoyed the homemade cookies, enjoyed their company, the children enjoyed walking the dog and building with the blocks. It was an enjoyable evening.

One of my special times with the children was when I read to them a bed time story about, "Can we hear God?". All weekend long the message we repeated and really spoke to my hear to was the story of Elijah (God was not in the fire, not in the earthquake, not in the wind, but in the gentle quiete wisper.) The children were able to grasp this concept and hold on to it and repeat it. This was blessing to me. I spent some quite moments with God on Tuesday night waiting for the gentle quiet whisper and God granted it and I gained better perspective after several days of feeling discouraged and having lost perspective. God has blessed me so much the gift of a positive attitude so a few days of feeling down here and there shouldn't be things I complain about. Instead I am leanrning to look up to God to regain perspective.

We did have some real camping adventures. The water was off for several hours on Saturday morning when we wanted to shower, do laundry, and run the dish washer. But finally it got up and running again. On Sunday at 6:00 am there was a big bang outside the house and the electricity went off for us and our next door neighbor. It was a miracle that it was restored by 9am. I was about ready to go to church as a wethead.

Thank you Lord for a blessed weekend and a weekend of normality and also a weekend of feeling more myself.

Locks of Love - Photos AFTER Haircut

2006-07-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

Enjoy the new look because I am already starting to loose my hair.

Will get fitted for wig on Tuesday which will take 7-10 days to get. I have a back up plan while I wait. Hats!!

Locks of Love - The Process of Cutting My Hair

2006-07-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

Locks of Love -Before and After Photos (Hair Cut)

2006-07-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

On July 3rd I had my hair cut by a Brazilian friend of Rosana’s. We had to borrow a car and pick her up in Woburn which is north of Boston. We brought her to my house. She had cut hair for cancer patients in the past. I thank God for the surprise gift she gave of cutting my hair for free. We made it as fun an experience as possible. She really got into the picture taking which brought out my photo journaling mood. We cut at least 10 inches which was the required amount in order to send the hair for donation (Locks of Love) in order for children’s wigs to be made from my hair. I wanted to have my hair made into a wig for me but the price of $1,000 was a BIT out of my price range. I think God has much better use for those $1,000 and for my hair. I am sharing you the before and after shots and the process. My little special friend Matthias and his mom, Fausta, arrived just before the hair cut. Matthias is 8 and a cancer survivor. He knows what this is all about even though he was very young when he went through loosing his hair. He is always wanting to be there (even for Doctor’s appointments although we haven’t had him there) for me. He keeps telling his mom, “I need to be there. Ruth needs me there to support her.”

I am so touched by my many many little friends who are praying for me. I continue to pray for them as their parents wrestle with how to tell them what is going on with me and how much to tell them. One thing I know, is that all these little friends are praying for me and also helping me in many ways both with showering me with love and helping me in practical ways (watering plants, visiting me, giving me hugs, making me pictures, cleaning my apartment. Thank you Lord for my little friends who fill my life with such joy! Yes, God keeps saying another little one sending up prayers for Ruth.

Another Gift From God-Parking at Work

2006-07-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

I went to work the other day to just stay for a few hours (I have been working remotely and have here and there been putting in 5-7 hour days several days a week). It is great to be able to drive again although I am not venturing out long distances or in much traffic because 1st gear is still a bit uncomfortable parallel parking. I told the valet parking attendant at our building that I would only be few hours and he told me I couldn’t park there because it is just for patients. I told him I had a medical condition and he said, “OK, but just for now and from now on you need to go to public parking.” When I went inside I talked with the security guard and finally shared with him more of my situation. He asked me if I was willing to pay. I said yes. Finally, he told me that he would give me a place in the back of building free of charge. It is not to be everyday or for whole days but for me to use for 3-5 hours and few times a week. I am so thankful because this makes going into work for short periods of time worth it and easier when I am feeling well but hot able to work full days. I am so thankful for God’s provision so I will not have to relay as much on rides from people. Thanks to those of you have been providing rides for me.

1st Chemo Session Photo

2006-07-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Virginia and I at my first Chemo Session

2006-07-08T03:26:00.000-07:00

This balloon came floating in to me in the recovery room, was tied to my bed and has been with me the whole time in the hospital and now at home. It is still standing strong and straight after after more then a month. It is a special poem for me and even more now because I am experiencing what it means to have God carrying me through this storm in my life.

2006-07-08T03:22:00.000-07:00

Ways You Can Help Ruth

2006-07-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

Want to thank Sheri Michel for setting up the blog for me and for maintaining it through the first phase. Thanks to Elizabeth and Tom Milley for their support after that. I have now been able to pretty much maintain the e-mails and blog myself these days with some assistance here and there. Please take a look at the blog from time to time for poems, pictures, and of course the e-mails

I am sending out the e-mails in groups of 4 so that hopefully they do not getted block as spam mail. I haven't yet figured out how to blind copy in outlook. Hope you don't mind.

I would like to take this opportunity to update my address book. Please e-mail me your mailing address, e-mail, home number, cell phone number, and anything else you want to add.

My friend Anne Freeman anne.freeman3@verizon.net has offered to be my meal coordinator. If you are local and able to help out with this need please let Ann know. I am supposed to eat 6 small meals a day and am supposed to avoid soy and spicy foods. Should eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Am trying to eat meats that have not been fed hormones. Ann will provide further details.

I am also looking for people who can help out with rides and to come over to help with laundry, cleaning, and other things that need to be done around the house. I plan to put a list together of names that I can contact when the need arises.

I might also need someone to occasionally spend a day or night with me. Please let me know if this is an option for you.

I have no idea what to expect over the coming weeks, but God does.

Thanks for all your support and expressions of love.

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com
rsieck1@earthlink.net

Results of First Chemo Treatment

2006-07-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Thanks for all your e-mails, cards, prayer, and support. God is truly good and taking care of my every need.

My chemo went pretty well. The actual process was only about two hours and went very quickly. There wasn't even time to really chat or do anything because it went so quickly and lots of interruptions for the next step of the process. I was in a private cubicle and everything is done through IV. I did pretty well until late afternoon when I developed a slight headache and my stomach didn't feel all that great (but not that bad). I also became agitated and my muscles could not relax. Took an adavan which is to ease mild nausea and anxiety. Called the hotline and they said to take fresh ginger in warm water, play soft music. My friend Rosana who was staying with me did all of this including massaging my head and neck and I fell asleep in the middle of the wonderful treatment and slept well.

Felt better in the morning and had more of an appetite. Juan Miquel, a clinical fellow from my lab, came by in the afternoon to give me my injection to boost my white blood cells. Enjoyed a nice meal downstairs in celebration of Jim's birthday and ate quite a bit, including ice-cream cake. Got pampered yesterday with a foot massage. No adavan last night but soft music and massage and I fell asleep fine.

I have been quite tired, but I did make to church in the morning. I think everyone is a bit sluggish today due to the weather being uncomfortable (hot and humid). Thankfully there is a breeze. Feeling tired, hot and bored (unusual for me. I like to be active and feeling I am accomplishing something).

Hard to know what to expect over the coming days and weeks and do not know what my needs will be. Living day by day.

Tomorrow I most likely will get my hair cut. A Brazilian friend of Rosanna's will come over to cut my hair at the house. I will donate my hair since it is so long to "Locks of Love". I have been putting off this event hoping that I would not loose my hair but I rather have the chance to donate my hair and my oncologist firmly said, "You WILL lose your hair".

I talked to my brother in law today and was surprised when he told me my dad was talking and only has the oxygen mask on. The last couple of days were wrestling with the tough questions of feeding tube and tracheo and saying that he would not be able to go off the respirator, or swallow or talk again. My God is a God of miracles. Don't know why He has chosen to shower me me so many miracles in one year but I am thankful.

Will keep you posted.

Blessings,

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Phase Two-the Big Day Chemo Treatment #1

2006-06-30T03:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Just quick update. Today is my first chemo treatment. At 9:30 I need to be there and at 10 the actually treatment starts. Will be done by 1 or 2. My oncologist and I decided to move ahead even with myh dad's condition. Please pray for none or minimal side effects. I can take pain and stuffiness when I am sick but feeling not good int eh stomach is the worst. God has provided Fausta to be with me from 9:30 to 12 and then my Aunt Virginia will be with me for the rest of the treatment and to drive me home and be with me inteh afternoon. Then Rosanna will be with me the rest of the weekend. I thank each of my angels and all of you whose thoughts and prayers are with me. Plans got changed last minute but God so easily provided my Aunt unexpectedly. My each person be blessed as they walk beside me this day and each of you too.

I spent my evening before Chemo relaxing away from everything. Was out on the golf course at Franklin Park in the middle of nature. Only two of us and the rolling hills, beautiful breezy weather, the singing birds. We rented a golf cart for the first time so I would not get tired out. It is so relaxing to be in nature away from the hustle and bustle or responsibilities and phones and e-mail. Went out for dinner afterwards and the place was louder then the last time we had been there. What a contrast to the peaceful quiet nature we had juset left but maybe it was loueder to use due to the contrast. Anyway, it was a very nice evening and a great way to spend the evening before my chemo.

Dad's condition is not stable. Things are very tough but he was responsive yesterday. The younger nephews including David who was visiting from California had a chance to see my dad yesterday eventhough he was in ICU. They were begging to see their Grandpa. Pleae pray for wisdom and for my dad to respond with his wishes (even in his condiiton) as we have many very tough decisions to make regarding his health and coming days.

Have a nice 4th of July weekend. I'll update you soon as to how things are going;

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

God's Cake

2006-06-28T03:24:00.000-07:00

This was sent and shared with me by my friend Ruth in Germany.

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake" "Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her sister. "How about a c ouple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!" "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are yucky!" To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way , they make a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful! God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Emotional Rollercoaster

2006-06-28T03:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I am sure you are all wondering about my dad. Thanks for all your loving e-mails messages and prayers. God gave me peace and strength. I did come back on Monday emotionally exhausted and immediately went to bed at 8pm. Did not have much energy in my voice yesterday (Tuesday) at work. I walked to work (40 minutes) which felt really good. I started my day with a plastic surgery appointment whch I almost forgot about. Good thing I had the appointment because I had to get out of bed. I had gone to bed at 8pm the night before and slept well and wanted to keep on sleeping. I never go to bed early and early for me is 10 or 10:30.

As I was waiting for the surgeon, I got a call from my sister that my Dad was again on a respirator. He was put on it again at 8pm Monday evening after being off most of Monday. This news was hard news since when I left Albany around 4 pm to return to Boston on Monday he was off the respirator (although he was having trouble adjusting to breathing on his own and had fluid around his lungs) and talking.

Well, I had a surprise when the surgeon said they were going to start filling me with the saline. I had no idea what to expect and the syringe was huge After that horrible biopsy, I am a bit nervous of anything being poked in my breast. My surgeon said I was the one in charge. It went very well with only one moment of slightly feeling something. Nothing feels different yet looks a bit different. Dr. Orgill hopes to inject saline at least 5 more times during my chemo. I went on to work trying to deal with all of my emotion of my Dad and the appointment. The nurse told me to take as much time as I needed in the exam room to process all that was going on. I went on to work from there and put in my first full day of work since the operation. Work was intense and I did not have much emotional energy. My voice was week. I came home ready to go to bed because I was so exhausted but God had different plans. By 8 pm I felt much calmer (not so overwhelmed. Wasn’t just the thought of my Dad. Was just that I was so exhausted that everything felt magnified.). I have had peace since 8pm and know that many of you are out there praying for me and I am sure God brought me and my family to your mind to specifically pray for me last evening. I also spent some good time in prayer and reading in the book of Job. I am supposed to be resting up to start my chemo and instead it is a very emotional, exhausting time.

Well, everything went well over the weekend. Thank God for the angels that provided transportation for me and at such short notice (thanks to those who took me and those that also offered but I ended up already having the need met). This really was a blessing to me and my family and made things much easier. We were juggling many schedules and especially weekend ball games for my nephews and nieces. So good to see my Dad but so hard to see him struggling to breath. He really wanted to get the respirator out because it was so uncomfortable They have to tie him down when he is alone or else he tries to take out the tubes. Sunday was a wonderful reunion. We were all at home except my sister in law who is 9 months pregnant and is out in San Diego. My brother and 2 year old nephew flew in late Saturday night. So good to see them. My whole family met at church and took up a whole pew. My mom wanted us all there together for the same service. My brother and my mom went right over to the hospital after church so my brother could see my dad. Then we all met at mom and dad’s for a big dinner; It was so good to see my nephew David and my brother who we hadn’t see for two years.. I know that we are all gong to have a hard time letting him them go back to San Diego. Poor Steve and David. They came for a vacation and to see us and especially Dad. Steve hasn’t seen Dad in such a condition like the rest of us did a year ago. It is quite difficult. Unfortunately, David and Steve have pretty much only seen the hospital since they arrived. On Monday we all hung out at the hospital including gall of the kids. We are praying that Dad will get to see David before he leaves on ‘Thursday but with Dad back on the respirator, things do not look good.

WE have all had some special moments with Dad. He has been smiling and laughing. Monday he was able to talk a bit when the tube was out. What a relief from the frustration of not being able to communicate when the tube was in.

Got some good laughs when Steve was showing Sharon the right way to itch Dad’s nose that was constantly itching (you take the whole nose in your hand).

Thanks for being there with me. The next blog titled, God's Cake, really describes what mysituation is.

Blessings,

Ruth

2006-06-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Thanks for all your support, prayer, and e-mails. My Dad went on a respirator yesterday because he stopped breathing Thursday night on his own. Yesterday, was a tough day of phone calls back and forth, my brother (he and my nephew had plans to be here now anyway)and brother in law (away on business) trying to change plane tickets to get to Albany as quick as possible and me also trying to figure out how to get to Albany due to my health issues and not being able to drive myself there. Things looked a little better later in the day when they said that it is ammonia and a urinary track infection. We were thinking the leukemia attacking stronger or his systems shutting down due to the other disease. Those could be true too but at this point they are treating for the pneumonia and urinary track infrection. He is not out of the woods and is a very very sick man especially since his body has a harder time fighting infection due to the other diseases he has.

My sister Sharon offered to come and pick me up which would be a 7 hour trip total. I prayed that God would provide another solution. I called several friends and God provided a ride to Springfield for me this morning which means my sister will only have to drive 4 1/2 hours. I have someone to meet me in Springfield on Monday. Looking for a back up plan for Sunday for someone to meet me in Springfield if my Dad is doing better since I do have a doctor's apppointment on Monday am.

So I am leaving this morning (Saturday) to go to Albany. We will all be there including my brother who is leaving for Iraq in a few weeks and expecting a baby just brefore leaving. They live in San Diego. We will have a family meeting to discuss how to care for my dad. He will be in the ICU, then regular hospital room, then rehab, and then home but my mom will need to have 24 hour assistance with him. This is the current plan if all goes as planned. Please pray for us as we have many decisions to make.

I had many tears at work yesterday as I thought about the special moment I had with my Dad last Friday when he came to visit. He begged my mom to bring him to see me. My Dad doesn't usually express those types of desires. I got five minutes alone with him that were very special and I saw the love he has for me expressed like never before. He is not a man who is able to express those deep feelings. He then kissed me on the hair. Somehow I felt this was a goodbye. In my memory I don't remember my Dad ever kissing me. I thank God for that special moment.

I am thankful that I will be able to go and be with my family at this time although I will only be able to go into the hospital for a few minutes and with a mask. I will provide support in other ways. I am still recuperating myself and getting ready for my chemo on Firday. Can you believe that my operation was a month ago already?

Thanks again for being on this journey with me.

Blessings,

Ruth

When It Rains It Pours Yet.........

2006-06-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

When it Rains It Pours Yet there are blessings in the rain drops

Seems like everyday I hear of someone else with a family member very ill. But I know that God is in control even when it seems like everything around us is out of control.

Dear Friends,

I will write more later but this is an urgent prayer request. My Dad is in the hospital with a very high fever and my mom could not get him out of bed this morning. I don't know any more then that since I even got that information third hand. Sounds like it could be the leukemia attacking stronger. He does have CML which is chronic Leukemia. Update since I wrote this is that it could be somthing less serious but he is on oxygen and very weak.

More on me soon. My chemo starts on the 30th of June for 4 months. I will give you an update on my visit to the oncologist yesterday and some other things soon. I have added some things to the blog and there is more to come.

Thanks for your support,

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

"Step by Step"

2006-06-16T17:50:00.000-07:00

"Step by Step"

were the words of my doctor (and many others) when she told me I had cancer. And yes that has been my way of moving forward ever since. God has given me peace and I am not jumping ahead getting overwhelmed with the future tasks or thinking the worst and am moving forward on what is to be done today. That is a gift from God since that has not been my practice in the past in difficult situations. Thank you Lord for the gift of peace!

I am being reminded of many people and many things related to this theme. Like Abraham, Paul, David, Joseph, and many others, whom were on their own journey, persuing their dreams and goals and then LIFE HAPPENED. Confusions, detours, unbelieving, and lots of things that didn't make sense came along. And they had to proceed in faith step by step. We would assume they might have wondered how they would ever get to their puporse or goal that they believed God had given them. But they chose to trust God. They chose to beilieve that He would still lead them and He was in control of ALL that happens in their lives. So, by their example and how they walked step by step, I am also to forge forward and walk in faith.

A friend recently said to me that there is not victory without a battle. This was another piece of encouragement that boosted my faith giving me patience, strength and peace. Because I too believed I have received a promise from God and I was on my jouney to conquer it, but like the others "Life Happened". I did not ask why because God had prepared me for this dark cloud (storm). God brought me through a huge storm a few years ago where I learned alot. I felt like all that was robbed from my life was returned by God in better condition then before. I had lost my sense of meaning and direction but He showed me how to start to learn to trust Him to live for what I know today. Just as things were starting to smooth out, I ended up in February with shingles. Thankfully, this prompted me to make an appointment for a physical exam which I amazingly got within a month. I started to learn how to trust God in illness. I started to fast and pray with a new understanding of it. The shingles did not end up being the nightmare that you hear about. My experience was with very little pain, the rash did not spread much at all, and the rash sprouted dry instead of oozing and crusting.

So just before my physical exam and the series of tests that were to follow, I read a passage in the Bible and somehow knew that it was a reality that I could have cancer and this was another test to teach me more about warfare. This is the word that was given to me to prepare me for the medical tests and news that I had Breast Cancer: Judges 3:1-2 "...These are the nations the Lord left to test all those Israelites who had not experienced any of the wars in Canaan (he did this only to teach warfare to the descendants of the Isralites who had not had previous battle experience);... Therefore, I knew that this was just another test to teach me how to fight the battles which come along as part my life.

So like those who came before me, I will follow step by step and He will lead me. I too chose to trust Him. And like a countemporary saint sang out loud his confession of trust to the Lord, I also use his words to express my own: 'Oh Lord, You are my God ...and Step by step you lead me and I will follow you all my days...".

Beyond the Boundaries of Bed

2006-06-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

I has not been spending much time in bed even at night. I even prefer sleeping in the big comfortable chair in the living room or on the couch at night. I have just gone back to my regular bed a few days ago.

You all have probably wondered if I ended up going to the conference? Well, Friday June 2nd was an exciting day. After my first shower (yeah) I and my sister headed off to Quincy where I surprised everyone by showing up at the ACMI conference. I went right away to my first session (2pm) which was already in progress and was able to participate and present during the last half hour. It was great to receive lots of hugs (fine as long as it is on the correct side). It is hard to not be able to give my usual firm German handshake. Then I went to the second workshop which was at 3pm on Immigration matters. I presented with an Immigration Lawyer from Minnesota who I had never met before. I stood up and started presenting with no outline and things just flowed. I didn't get nervous or wonder what people were thinking. God was my mouth piece and Bob and I worked so well together. It was in the strength of the Lord and not in my own. "In my weakness He is made strong" I felt great and energized by being at the conference. It is always like a family reunion with friends from all over the country getting together. I stayed for an awsome evening program. I kept thinking I should be home in bed but I was wide awake and felt I could listen to the speaker for ever. My sister and I have been sharing the exciting testimonies we heard with all who stop by the house or call. We won't tell you what time we arrived home that evening!!! It was late enough that Rossana borrowed a car and drove over to see if something was wrong.

I ventured out to church on Sunday (June 4th) with my sister driving me to Newton Pres and then I drove my sisters van to church in the evening which is close to the house (this was another opportunity too share publicly with the church how things are with my health and again I felt God was my mouth piece in Spanish and in English as my voice was different and flowed freely with no nervousness. However, my sister is gone now and all I have is my own car which is a standard and would be a challenge for me to drive yet. So I feel a bit chained to the house but that is probably a good thing that I am not freely bouncing around town yet. I do have needs especially for rides to and from work. Please let me know if you are able to help out in anyway with this need (617-277-2528 or 617-291-8460).

Then on Wednesday I was asked to present for a group of about 30 people at Emmanual Gospel Center's staff meeting. I got a quick overview of the proposed new immigration law since that was my role to present. Because of the operation I basically just showed up with the article and built the presentation based on those who spoke before me and bridged what they said with what I was asked to share and wanted to share. Things again flowed. I am learning to rely more on the Lord and not spend tons of time trying to be "perfect" and cover everything.

COLORS OF THE RAINBOW

2006-06-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

I was told by my doctor that my skin would change to all the different colors of the rainbow. Mine didn't change too much though. One of my Latino friends said that his skin turns red, yellow, orange, black, blue, purple, etc., so I guess I need more of the Latino blood in me to turn all colors of the rainbow. Guess mine didn't turn too much (lots of prayer from around the world and even from my latino friends).

Bruising at this time is pretty much non existent. (June 16th)

Words of an electronic card sent by my Aunt Esther are below:

Rainbows appear after mighty storms,when things look their very worst. Just when the skies are darkest gray,look for the rainbow first.

The rainbow is a sign of God's promise,that He will guide us through all our troubles,no matter what their form.

When you feel battered by life's storms,and you are filled with doubt and dismay;just remember God's rainbow is coming,it's only a prayer away.

-Author Unknown

Update after a long silence

2006-06-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

e-mail sent on June 11th

Dear Friends,

Sorry for the silence and the lack of updates on the blog
(http://ruths-journey.blogspot.com/). Now you will receive quite a few over
the next days. I have been doing well. Maybe doing more then I
should in some ways but some of it is what is making me feel better.
It is a struggle to want life to be back to normal, but I need
patience in waiting for that. In my attempt to get normal, I
ventured out to work for 4 hours on Thursday, and that led to
another extravaganza of leaving the house the next morning at 7:30am
(because I had a kind offer of transport to work) in order to be there in
time for a 9am lab photo shoot. I did get an hour of work in before the
lab photo. The comments from people at work as well as friends were
very uplifting. It is nice to know that they are happy to see me
around again. One colleague said, "I am sorry Ruth, but you do not
look at all like you just had an operation. No one would know that
you just had major surgery." Yes, I have had good coloring since
even in the recovery room and maybe even look healthier than before
the operation. Guess my body was really fighting that cancer. BUT
maybe I should just take off my shirt and show my wounds to prove it
(just kidding). No, it is not easy. I may look very good on the
outside and be expressive and myself, BUT there is still a lot of
healing that needs to take place on the inside. My doctor said he
had to do a great job because he knew his work was going to be
checked. And I must say, they all say the incisions look great.
I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping but it has been a bit
better the last couple of nights since every day I am more mobile
and can sleep in different positions now.
My frustration is that there is no book to tell me what to expect
and to know what is normal or not normal. So everything is new and
leaves a lot of room for imagination; therefore, I am so thankful
for my friend Jon and other medical doctor friends who have really been
able to provide the most support in this area. I am comfortable
with my looks but not sure what is going on when I am having slight
elevations in my temperature or "fluid build up" (if that is what it
is and it is uncomfortable), pain (none before and some now but more
uncomfortable than pain, great though to have quite a bit of arm
movement and to be able to bend over with out feeling the implant).
Previously I had more discomfort than I did pain. I have been off
pain meds for quite a while and was using them to prevent the pain
but not because of the pain. All in all, everyone says I am doing
well everything considered. Please pray for my patience with the
recovery and that I would not feel overwhelmed with trying to figure
out how to juggle everything (eating right, drinking, transport,
exercise, sleeping, working (Verami has gotten busy), rest, visits,
calls, etc.).

Thanks for being alongside of me on this journey, and I do
appreciate your visits, calls, food, flowers, and other gifts of love and
kindness and most importantly prayers. I enjoy having the time to
visit and see friends I have not seen for a long time. I even had a
visit from Germany yesterday unexpectedly.

Blessings,
Ruth

NEXT DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT (updated June 16th)

2006-06-12T05:26:00.000-07:00

June at 2pm 21st I meet with the Oncologist to discuss if I am ready for chemo. Chemo is tentatively scheduled to start on June 30th at 9:30 and will be most likely every two weeks on Friday mornings (this will hopefully allow a better work schedule). Just wanted to clarify that the 2mm cancerous tumor was removed incidentaly when they did the reduction and therefore all three tumors are out of my body. In regard to the 2mm cancerous tumor found in the tissue removed in the other breast, we are going to wait and not make any quick descisions. The plastic surgeon was quite shocked by the news as well as the surgical oncologist.

Everyone is commenting on good coloring in my face. Must be the cancer is gone and my body is no longer fighting it. I think it has been putting a strain on my body for a few years.

It is exciting to begin to do so much more with my arm without thinking.
June 26 at 10:30 Genetic Testing (Praise that there was a cancellation so I do not have to wait until September. Is not more important due to that 2mm finding.

June 27th 9:45 meet with Plastic Surgeon

MEDICAL UPDATE

2006-06-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

Drain was removed on Thursday the 1st
Exiting first shower on the 2nd (hurray)
Every day I feel I can do more and more for myself. These are exciting mile stones.
First time I could wash my hair all by myself (yippee)
Enjoyed some nice walks to visit my lab and the chairman's office
Enjoyed walking to the pond and to the small store near us
Can stretch my arm up
Can wear normal clothes and I don't feel or look different

ONE WEEK OUT OF THE WOODS

2006-06-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

Thanks for your prayers and support. The incisions are looking great. The remaining drain was supposed to come out on Tuesday (May 30), but I was still producing more than 30cc of fluid in a 24-hour period. Things had slowed down, though, and praise God, they removed the drain Thursday (June 1)!

Wednesday (May 31) I received a call from Dr. Christian (surgical oncologist) who reconfirmed that there were no cancer cells found in the lymph nodes, and that the two tumors in the right breast were of different origins (cell type) but both had margins that are fine. For those of my many medical friends out there, and the rest of you that may have an interest to learn, one is invasive ductile and the other lobular ductile. Incidentally, the doctors found a 2mm cancerous tumor in the left side in the tissue that was removed when they did the reduction lift on that side. Praise God that they did do a reduction lift on the left side. Dr. Christian said that most people harbor small tumors in their body (which are discovered in the autopsy after one dies) that never become a problem.

The next step will be a talk with the oncologist to discuss treatment (chemo, hormonal, radiation). The incidental findings of this 2mm tumor might impact the original treatment plan. Radiation is a concern in my case since implants have been inserted.

I appreciate the phone calls, e-mails, visits, flowers, meals and love and prayers of you all. After my visit on Tuesday to the plastic surgeon, I visited the lab connected with my job, which provided a good walk, and it was nice to see everybody again. Everyone commented that I was looking great and they couldn't believe how well I looked, even better than before the surgery. Please pray that I keep my positive attitude and peace as I continue on this journey. The news from Dr. Christian was a little surprising.

Please pray for me as I try to attend a few hours of a conference in Quincy this Friday where I might present a little bit. I will be able to go, as the drain is out; it's a question of whether I am feeling up to it.

Please pray that I will not be overwhelmed. I am feeling the responsibility of work at the hospital, and at Verami (it really picked up this week, which is good). On top of this, I need to be responsible for managing my health, other things that need to be done around home, relaxing (sleeping, reading, visits, calls, listening to music), eating (lots of protein, fruit, vegetables) and drinking lots of fluids (when my sister left to come to Boston my niece reminded her to make sure Aunt Ruth is drinking enough).

Thank God for the little surprise packages of joy that He sends my way each day.

Ruth

Breakfast with Prunes!

2006-05-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday Morning Rosanna prepared oatmeal with prunes ans we all posed for a photo in Ruth's kitchen. (From the left) Ruth's sister Debbie, Fausta, Ruth and Rosanna.

Ruth's Garden Tour

2006-05-27T15:22:00.000-07:00

Update #10 Words from Ruth

2006-05-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,
Thanks so much for your continued support, prayers, phone calls, e-mails, love, food, friendship, books, flowers and other gifts of love. It's been great having my Mom and sister here. My mom went back on Wednesday to be with my Dad, whose illness has progressed, and as of last week, he is no longer able to walk and is therefore wheelchair bound. My sister goes back today. I thank the Lord for the support of my aunt and brother-in-law who have taken care of her 4 children while she was here. My sister and I haven't had time together like this in years. It's been nice to have the opportunity for my mom and sister to meet my friends here in Boston. We had a nice supportive group, working as a team since Monday morning, consisting of my mom, sister Debbie, Mike, Rosana (Hosana), and Fausta. They were all able to hear the report from Dr. Christian, with the good news that the operation went well, he was pleased with the results, no lymph node involvement and cancer cells not found. We are waiting for the pathology results from the tumors and further testing of the lymph nodes. - Praise the Lord for a good outcome!! Pastor Pena was also there for a large portion of the day. Fabiola popped in several times as well.
It was nice having visits from different residents - some mistaking my sister for me. When I first got to my room (Thank God for a private room where you don't even know what is happening outside the room), the nurse was suprised when she saw very little swelling and the incisions looked great. Great nursing care.
Tuesday, the nursing care wasn't the greatest and they were going to discharge me at 6:00pm when I had a lot of pain. The decision to go home or not was hard. We decided managing the pain meds at home and sleeping in my own bed was the best choice.
I've been sleeping and resting well, getting used to the implant, been at peace and have been enjoying friends and family. Many times when I'm laying or sitting, I feel nothing major has hapapened to my body. I almost feel everything is the way it always was.
I am enjoying the environment I have to recuperate in. The birds are chirping all day long, the trees and flowers are blossoming around me, with gorgeous view from my large windows. It is quiet and peaceful. I was able to take a walk to the pond yesterday. I enjoyed seeing the white swan in the middle of the pond.

Post-surgery photo and smile

2006-05-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

Update #9 After surgery

2006-05-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

Ruth was doing well, but hadn't walked much before 3pm. She had a lot of pain and was very uncomfortable when it was time to be discharged. After resting a bit more, getting pain under control with the proper meds, eating, and a shift change of nurses, she was able to go home at 10p.m. 5/23
Ruth was glad to be home and sleeping in her own bed. She slept well.
5/24 We are having a quiet day today, taking naps, managing meds, eating, taking short walks in the house, and taking care of her medical needs. She even relaxed with some special hand/lotion treatments. Your prayers are so much appreciated. She is on the road to recovery and will be looking forward to some company soon. It's amazing how good she looks!!

Update#8 day after surgery

2006-05-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

Ruth's blood pressure was a little high after surgery so they held her in recovery till 6:00pm last night. She looked great when she got to her room. She still had her smile, very little swelling, color good, and for the most part - no pain. She ate well and enjoyed some company last night. Her friend Rosana stayed the night. She was great company for Ruth and had her sitting up, eating and her hair was beautifully done. Her mom and sister came back to the hospital this morning. Ruth had 2 drains, a catheter, oxygen, and an IV. Everything has been removed except 1 drain. She hasn't walked yet. She will probably go home today and a visiting nurse will come to her house tomorrow. We praise God how He has answered prayer.

Update #7 Surgery

2006-05-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Ruth is in recovery...not intensive care. Mom says she is glowing and smiling. She looks great.

Update #6 Surgery

2006-05-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

Arrived at hospital at 5:20am. Ruth was unable to receive IV dye at 6:45am as scheduled. Was finally able to reschedule at 8:15am. Surgery at 9:20am. Ruth went in smiling, at peace, and knowing God was right by her side through it all. After 2 1/2 hours, Dr. Christian came out and reported a very successful surgery. Praise God! Nothing was found in the lymph nodes, but had some samples sent to pathology to be tested. - Results in a week. The doctor felt everything was removed, but she will receive chemo as a precaution. Reconstructive surgery followed and that also went very well. She is in intensive care right now. There is a good possibility she will be going home tomorrow 5/23. Thanks for all your prayers so far. God is good.
****************
message from Ruth.....I woke up and felt I was in a dream.

Cartoon from Poland

2006-05-19T16:47:00.001-07:00

This is a cartoon sent from Poland for Ruth:

Storms of Life

2006-05-19T16:47:00.000-07:00

These are the encouraging words from a card Ruth received:

We can't foresee the turning of the tide
When problems beset us and tears are cried.

Sometimes life deals from the bottom of the deck 
Filling us with worry and leaving us a wreck.

The enemy seeks to devour and destroy, 
Using deceptions to eliminate our joy.

While walking through the valley, our heads hung low, 
The mountain top seems so high, our footsteps slow.

How many times have we traveled this road 
To battle the frustrations of troubles bestowed?

Yet when we come to our darkest hour 
God demonstrates His infinite power.

It doesn't matter how bad things might seem, 
He always comes through, our faith to redeem.

God will not fail us in our times of pain. 
He'll never forsake us, by our side He'll remain.

So when we find ourselves at a total loss 
Or when the valley seems too wide to cross, 
Just remember you're in His love and care, 
Look over your shoulder, He's always there!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2006-05-19T16:45:00.000-07:00

Over the last month I have had precious moments that have made me laugh with love and enjoyment as I think of the comments out of the mouths of babes. Thank you, Lord, for humor in the midst of a storm of my life. I have been laughing more and smiling more than usual. Seeing God working in this storm is beautiful.

Precious comment #1 from my nephew:

At dinner they were talking about Aunt Ruth being sick and needing an operation and my nephew said:
"Does Aunt Ruth need a hernia operation like I did?"

Precious moment #2 from a three year old friend:

Some friends of mine were over and we spent some time praying together. At the end their three year old said," Is Ruth sick because she ate too much candy?"

Precious moment #3 from my nephew (6 years old):

He prays for me every night, but one night a few weeks ago he prayed, "Lord, whatever it is in Aunt Ruth's body that is not supposed to be there, just take it out!"

I thank the Lord for these little ones. Please pray for my nieces and nephews and the other little friends in my life, as my illness impacts them. Especially pray for wisdom for their parents who are seeking God on how much to say to them and how to tell them. All my nieces and nephews know I am sick. Depending on their ages some know more or less. They are all praying with their whole hearts for me. Thank you Lord for the prayers and love of these dear little ones.

May 18th photo of Ruth

2006-05-19T14:32:00.000-07:00

Peace that Passes Understanding (Update # 5)

2006-05-19T14:22:00.002-07:00

Ruth called this morning (May 19) to report that her pre-op testing and paperwork took all day yesterday, from 11:30 until 4:00, but all the clinicians have been friendly and easy to get along with. Ruth said, "I had no anxiety before or during the appointments, and this is supposed to be scary. Lord, this is you, in action, full time." Her friend Fausta was with her and said, "Ruth, there is such a peacefulness and calm in every exam room we were in -- it's just that peace that is in you, it comes into each room."

Another friend asks every day if the peace is still there. Last night she said, "I know it is real because I am seeing the peace. Your whole body is reflecting that inner peace. It shows on the outside. You are looking great. Ruth said, "I really felt carried by people's prayers yesterday -- things are effortless. It feels like being showered with miracles, just showered." For those of us, like me, who can't be there with Ruth and would love to help out tangibly, be certain that she is being well taken care of by friends and family in Boston, and most of all by her heavenly Father.

Ruth's hospital stay will be only one or two nights, so it would be better to plan visits for after she gets home. However, she would like a few visitors -- just telephone ahead first. Her mom and sister, and about three friends, will be with her at the hospital Monday through the surgery. The possibility of having a nurse as a roommate hasn't worked out, but many other people have offered to help with the injections. Ruth says one of her Colombian friends is on plastic surgery rotation next week, and she thinks he will be assisting during her operation. This is the doctor who helped her feel comfortable about the plastic surgery options, and to be confident in the advantages of having implants instead of using muscle flaps for the plastic surgery.

Messages from Ruth (Update #4)

2006-05-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, May 16th, Ruth wrote:

Hi to you all,

Thursday is my pre-op day, which means most of the day being bombarded with information and more pre-operation tests.

My sister Sharon, brother-in-law, and niece and nephew were here over the weekend to set up my new laptop (the other one's screen blew a few weeks ago), to help organize, clean up, and help me get ready. Was also great to have a chance to really forget about the big event in my life for a while. It really diverted my attention and I forgot that I have cancer. Life seemed normal again.

Thanks for all your e-mails, calls, love, prayers and support. I encourage you to read the story posted on the blog by Monica under the comments for blog number 3. I do feel like you are all helping to carry the burden. The Lord is carrying me, and with Him and you all, the load is lighter.

Blessings,

Ruth

Surgery Scheduled (Update #3)

2006-05-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

The date for Ruth's surgery has been set for May 22nd. She needs to be there at 5:30 AM, with surgery at 7:30 AM or so. It's supposed to last 4 hours. She has lots of pre-op appointments happening this week. So please pray for her, the doctors, nurses, etc. during this time.

Ruth wanted me to share with you some wonderful blessings with you. You can praise God along with Ruth in how He orchestrates the details of our lives.

1. Various members of her family will be coming before, during, and immediately after her surgery to be with Ruth.

2. A dear friend of Ruth's will be staying with her to help care for her an unlimited amount of time

3. Her boss and work group have been so helpful and flexible in letting her work from home from time to time and work a reduced number of hours. She recently met a woman who also works at Brigham & Woman's and going through something similar who didn't have this flexibility. Since there's no short-term disability at B&W, Ruth has been so thankful that her boss will allow her this flexibility.

4. This past week she has been meeting people who have also gone through or are currently going through breast cancer treatment. They have been greatly informative and encouraging to her.

5. This one is AMAZING...One of Ruth's greatest needs after her surgery will be finding someone to give her the Chemo injections. Her landlords' have a friend who just had the unfortunate experience of losing her house to fire. Since Ruth has been needing an apartment mate, the landlords' thought about asking this woman if she wants to live with them for a while in Ruth's apartment. And as you can guess, this woman just happens to be a nurse!! They hope this situation will be helpful to both.

Here are some encouraging thoughts that Ruth passed on to me:

"Jesus is the frangance of Springtime. He refreses us and renews us. He makes all things beautiful in His time. He is the author of everything beautiful."

from Isaiah 43:
"But now, this is what the LORD says -
He who created you, O Jacob,
He who formed you, O Israel;

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name;
You are mine.

"When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.

"When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

"For I AM the LORD, your God,
the HOLY ONE of Israel, your Savior.

Do not be afraid, for I AM with you."

Sincerely,
Sheri Michel

How to help Ruth (Update #2)

2006-05-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

On behalf of Ruth, thanks for all of your thoughtful replies and messages via email and phone. She has been greatly encouraged by hearing from you. Many have been asking how to help Ruth, so I thought I'd send out an email with some ways she would appreciate help. She still hasn't heard about the exact surgery date, so some ways to help won't apply until after she comes home.

1. Food - cooking healthy, well-balanced meals or dishes. There is a recipe for super-healthy muffins on the back of the Flax-meal package sold at Trader Joes that she especially enjoys. I usually substitute honey for brown sugar (cancer patients should not have refined sugar). Ruth said food with high-fiber, green vegetables, lots of fruit (especially papaya) are good.

2. House - cleaning help in her apartment once in a while after the surgery

3. Computer - she will hopefully be able to work from home, so wondered if she could call on someone in case her computer were having problems. Also, she needs someone to help with data entry in some files (this could start now and she could send the files via email).

4. Visits, Cards, Phone Calls, Flowers, whatever - this is my own idea, we all know how sentimental and social Ruth is, she would love to continue to hear from people over the next few months. It will greatly encourage her as she recovers.

Ruth still continues to maintain a positive outlook. The other evening she was able to forget about everything as she enjoyed nature while playing golf. She has finally settled on one of the options for plastic surgery which was a huge weight on her shoulders for a while. Last weekend she enjoyed a Spanish and an English gathering where people prayed for her healing. She said it seemed like her wedding day because she was so happy. Even now, she feels the power and encouragement from people all over the world including Latin and South America, Eastern and Western Europe, etc. who are praying for her.

Here are a few quotes from some readings that have encouraged her recently:

<>"Storms at sea can be like crisis times in our lives. Emotions of FEAR ad UNCERTAINTY can come against us like the waves that crash upon the shore. But like the sea, GOD has put limits on the storms in our lives. He sets the boundaries and says, "THIS FAR AND NO FURTHER". Roy Lessin

<>"My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."..."
II Corinthians 12:9 NKJV

Peace,
Sheri Michel

Initial Notice (Update #1)

2006-05-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have not yet heard, Ruth was diagnosed only a few weeks ago with breast cancer. She has been so busy with doctor's appointments and decisions that she has not had time to contact everyone she knows, but wanted to let you all know her status. I will be sending periodic emails with information about how she's doing.

At the moment, she's very positive and at peace. Because she works at Brigham and Women's hospital (and also from divine intervention!) she has a top-notch group of doctors that she also really connects with. Also, she's thankful that her insurance will cover her care from this Brigham & Women's medical team. In addition, she's amazed by the speed with which the organization of details have come together.

She wanted me to pass on some requests that you can be remembering in your thoughts and prayers:
1. A miracle would occur for her to be healed, prior to surgery
2. Her surgery will most likely be within the next 2 weeks
3. She will have chemo for 4 months after surgery, but probably not radiation
4. Problems with her computer to be solved, so that she can work from home
5. God would be glorified through all of this

A verse from the Bible that has greatly encouraged her is Habakkuk 3:19: "The Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

Peace to you,
Sheri Michel