Relections on Dad's Funeral

Dear Friends,

I wanted to write a long time ago to update you on how things went when I was home for my dad’s funeral and how we are doing in regard to my Dad’s heavenly home going. I must say it was a peaceful, blessed time. It was a real celebration of his life. We know my Dad is in a better place and will not have to endure the suffering that his illnesses would have caused him. God took him out of the suffering before he had to go down that painful road. By the way my Dad thought that he was in the Adirondeck mountains the whole time he was in the intensive care unit.

We were all able to be home even my brother (5 hours later and he would have left from Portugal and been on his way to Iraq and not been able to come for the funeral). Even his wife with the two children (month old baby) were able to come from California.

We all put together the details for the viewing and funeral and service. God helped us to work so well as a team.

I am picked as the spokes person and writer for the family. Both are things that don’t come naturally. I have to rely totally on the Holy Spirit to give it to me. I was overwhelmed with the chemo and all there was to do with the funeral that I couldn’t focus. I had to take things step by step and if I didn’t get something done, it would be fine. I got to Albany and forgot I was in charge of the write up of my Dad for the bulletin. God helped me to write it up quickly and not be so concerned about being perfect but being used of God to express who my Dad was. There was a song I wanted to sing (If You Could See Me Now-Really expresses my Dad now with a new body standing tall and whole-you can see the words on another blog entry, it is beautiful) but hadn’t had time to practice and also my voice unpredictable with the chemo. But I practiced and my little nephew and niece were in the room looking at me with big eyes and smiles on their faces and there I was with my kerchief (my niece saw my hair on the desk and asked whose hair it was and I said it was mine). Thanks to God everything got done in the way it was to be done.

The visitation hours (4) were a very special time. God gave me strength and most people had no idea I was in chemo therapy. Those who knew were so surprised at how well I looked and said no one would have guessed I was in chemo or that I had a wig on. They said it looked so natural. My cheeks hurt from smiling instead of crying. I felt very blessed to have a Dad who made an impact in people’s lives in a quiet way. There were 300-400 people (many people I have not seen for many years). We had it in the church and the aisle was full the whole four hours with people waiting about an hour. I was so blessed by some friends who came all the way from Boston and especially one family who brought their two young children with them. The 4 year old constantly talks about Ruth’s Dad being in heaven and having a new body.

The funeral service was very special. My nine year old nephew Chris and I both gave testimonials as well as a few other people. I sang the song and my niece did hand motions to the song. She also played the flute. My Dad loved brass instruments and we were able to last minute get someone very special (my dad taught him how to do some electrical work when he was a little boy-is now in high school) to play trumpet for the service. We also had people bring flowers and the grandchildren collected them in baskets. I wanted the children to sing a song called, “Heaven Is a Wonderful Place, filled with Glory and Grace, I want to see my Savior’s face, Heaven is a Wonderful place, I want to go there.”, but it was not possible. However, when we were at the grave site (the little cemetery near my parent’s house) I felt the urge to lighten the atmosphere and wanted to sing the song because it is very upbeat. I thought my sisters will think I am crazy. Then all of a sudden Sharon looked at me and with tears in her eyes said start singing that song, NOW. So we all started singing and the grandchildren really joined in. Thank you Lord for that special moment!!!

My mom is doing well. Sure it is hard to loose your husband of 47 years that you spent all your time with and has taken care of so lovingly over the years of his illness. There were some special moments in those last months and weeks for her and all of us to say our earthly goodbyes. She is keeping busy and yes there are lonely moments and this is a chapter no one wants but it is a chapter in life. She has already started to reach out to others who have lost their husbands and bringing the women together. Mom has also been able to be here for my last two chemo’s and has been a great help.

We are all doing well since we know that where my Dad is he has a healthy body and that he is no longer feeling a burden to any one (that was what he felt not us). He is with his Heavenly father. Death is a celebration of life. By death we have life. “Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” (Romans 6:8). “A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth” (Ecclesiastes 7:1). “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you….Because I live, you will live also.” (John 14:18-19)

To close I would share: Ecclesiastes 7:14, “When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider; God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.”

Blessings,

Ruth