Chemo Brain Explained and Prayer Requests

Dear Friends,

The last weeks have been quite rough although since last Thursday things have been a bit better. Many times I forget what I have just been through and am still going through. The chemo brain is tough and the emotions I am experiencing are tough. Working 30 hours at work and no longer remotely is also difficult because I get even more easily overwhelmed and work has been lots of crisis, stress, and volume even for a well person. It is emotionally exhausting and It takes a lot to hold it together on the inside. But God is carrying me through. I got an e-mail from someone I only know by name who explained very well what chemo brain is. It is so true. I share it with you to understand what I am feeling:

"She also has learned of "chemo brain" online, and this has explained to her much of what she has been experiencing. She had told her doctor that when she is teaching Reading lessons to one, two or three kids at a time, everything is fine. But when she is out in the "bigger world" of the school, with many conversations coming at her, etc., it is much more confusing and harder to focus. Also hard to remember dates and meeting times, etc.
I would caution you to listen to your body and take it easy."

Please pray for those around me having to deal with my chemo brain and me to also have patience with myself.

This explaination is all true. Being with lots of people is tough. In fact sometimes I get hypersensitivity to lights and voices. I don't always know waht it is that is causing me to react and sometimes too late. I always remembered dates and times without a calendar. I find I have to be much more careful at work with the details and it takes more to focus. Guess one reason I love being out walking on the golf course (I do hit a few balls now and then and practice putting a little) at Franklin Park is that there is nature, sunsets, beautiful clouds, and hardly any people. I can forget everything and focus on God's country. Allows my mind to get cleared up. I am very thankful for the weather staying warmer this year so can still be out on the golf course a bit.

Tomorrow, at 3pm (Wed. December 13th) I have my two month follow-up appointment with my oncologists. Got my blood work done last week and will be getting the results tomorrow. My oncologist told me that I was cancer free when I finished in October (I feel that I was cured even before the treatments started). People look at me and say I look great and they would never know that I had just been through chemo. I look great but there are struggles on the inside more emotionally then physically. That is what others can not see and then put expectations on me (I do it to me too) that frustrate me. I am not even always aware of when I am doing too much. I did enjoy baking some things to bring to my appointment to share with all those who have taken such good care of me.

I have put up some new pictues on the blog. www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Thanks for all your support and prayers,

Ruth