Song: Through It All

Here are the words to the song: Through It All.

“I’ve had many tears and trials. I’ve had questions for tomorrow. There have been times I didn’t know right from wrong. But in every situation God gave blessed consolation that my trials only come to make me strong. I’ve been a lot of places and seen so many faces there been times I felt so all alone. But in that lonely hour in that priceless lonely hour Jesus let me know I was His own. And though it was,

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word.

So, I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He has brought me through. If I never had a problem wouldn’t know that He could solve them, wouldn’t know what faith in his Word could do.

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word, yes I learned to depend upon His Word, I learned to depend upon His Word.”

God's Speaks Through Nature

Lesson From a Plant

Dear Friends,

(Written a month or more ago) Thanks for your continual support and prayers. It is a struggle but God keeps giving me strength to persevere. I am thankful for how God takes such good care of me. Today and yesterday, God put it on the heart of several of you to call and I was able to ask for prayer over the phone for strength to keep going. I am processing many things which take a lot of emotional energy. Not a lot of interest in initiating although I am getting many things done here and there. Food doesn’t interest me but I am cooking every day. Have an appetite but hard to be creative or interested in eating although I am but God’s grace. Kind of bored with eating. Probably some of this has to do with the desire to eat only natural meat and dairy products and still having to be a bit careful with acidic foods and spicy. Ate so bland for so long that foods with a lot of flavor are overpowering for me.

I had a very pleasant surprise the other day when I opened the door to my large great room and a beautiful aroma was there. Where was it coming from? Well, it was coming from one of my large plants. There were two stems shooting up with about 10 flowers on each shoot. What a blessing and encouragement. They were a reminder of God’s faithfulness. He surprises us in so many amazing ways when we least expect it. New life coming unexpectedly. I never thought that this tall plant (looking like a tree) would ever produce flowers. It was a sign that God can do what seems to be impossible and knows when we need encouragement and when we need to see a sign from him that He is there. Every time I walk in to the room I am blessed by the beautiful smell and am reminded that even when things look difficult that God is still blessing me with little things (and big things) and that He is with me on this journey and that things will get better day by day.

It reminded me also of a plant I had years ago that had many flowers and then dried up and was as dry as a stick. My roommate teased me because I kept watering this dead plant. Then all of a sudden in a difficult time in my life the plant started having life and produced a least 10 beautiful buds that bloomed into beautiful flowers. It gave me hope that even when circumstances look so bad in our life that afterwards things will get better and there will be new life. We are just in a season of our lives and it will eventually change. It is just difficult to wait. There are many unknowns in my life but I have been in this season before. Afterwards God starts moving and things look fresh and new and I go into a new season of my life.
Lord help me to remember this and not be impatient. Help me to learn all you want me to learn in this season of my life. You have really been faithful and have blessed me during a time that could be very dark. If it wasn’t for You, I would sink. But you are carrying me through and giving me light in the darkness. Thank you Lord! Amen.

I woke up many times during the night a few weeks ago and found myself every time with the following song in my head. “Through It All” (Words and Music by Andrae Crouch). I share those words with you now: Through it All, Through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus, I learned to trust in God (see the blog for all of the words). They are very powerful. This song is on a CD that I listen to very much by Selah called Hiding Place which has had so many encouraging songs to lift my spirits and to help me to persevere with hope when I am feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. Physically I feel great, but emotionally things are tough due to the hormone treatment and also I am slowly feeling the impact of the last year. It still does not seem real. The other day I saw a man I knew at work and I noticed that his wonderful think white hair was almost gone. I knew right away that he was in chemo treatments. I could also tell by his eyes. I was in shock and froze. Emotionally, I was reminded of what I just had been through and it was like looking at my self in a mirror a few months back. That was me. Although for the most part, I did not look that much like a person going through chemo. I guess it was showing me that yes, you have gone through this.

Here are the words to the song: Through It All.

“I’ve had many tears and trials. I’ve had questions for tomorrow. There have been times I didn’t know right from wrong. But in every situation God gave blessed consolation that my trials only come to make me strong. I’ve been a lot of places and seen so many faces there been times I felt so all alone. But in that lonely hour in that priceless lonely hour Jesus let me know I was His own. And though it was,

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word.

So, I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He has brought me through. If I never had a problem wouldn’t know that He could solve them, wouldn’t know what faith in his Word could do.

Through it all, through it all, I learned to trust in Jesus I learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I learned to depend upon His Word, yes I learned to depend upon His Word, I learned to depend upon His Word.”

Thank you Lord for the Trials

For His Glory,

Ruth

More News But God is My Manager

Dear All,

Wow, when it rains it pours but not only the challenges but also the blessings.

I feel like this past year has been challenge after challenge. First shingles, then cancer diagnosis, operation, chemo, my Dad passing away, job challenges, other challenges (several unspoken), the passing of my "second Dad", several other deaths, friends moving away, and losing my job (have know for a long time but could not share publically until now), career crisis.

Now the blessings are flooding me and God is managing the order of solving the challenges. I can't work on them all at once and I didn't know where to begin but God knew the order and started moving things forward at just the right time. Last week I found out the operation is going to be March 16th and not in May or later. This piece is important to get out of the way and important information for the other plans. Last Friday my boss finally made his decision to leave (I have known for months that he was most likely leaving). He will leave Boston the end of June. The next couple months I will be able to focus on tying up loose ends in my current job and be working on finding a new position (the lab is moving so there is no longer a position for me) starting earlier or later then July depending on what God's plans are. I have a few leads and one that sounds very interesting combining many of my skills and interests. I am open to anything and am seeing this as an opportunity instead of an obstacle but it takes a lot of faith. Not sure what I want to do or more correctly what God wants me to do. I am in God's waiting room.

Please pray for me in my search for a new position and also feel free to pass on any leads that you might have. I am currently a research project manager for a prostate cancer pathologist. This job has been a blessing as I am working a 30 hour a week position with flexible hours. This has been great for being able to do Verami responsibilities.

Waiting in Expectation for God's gift of a job He has selected for me.

Since I wrote this e-mail I had a three hour interview two on the 14th, 2 days before my operation, and was asked back for a second interview the next day. All went well. A few other possibilities with a possible interview next week at BWH.

Thanks for your prayers,

Ruth
www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Update on My Operation

Dear All,

Thanks for all of your support and prayers this past week and always. It was a busy week with three hours of interview on Wednesday afternoon (was quite exhausting) and a second interview on Thursday. Was trying to focus on getting ready for the operation but was also involved with interviewing.

The operation went very well. Spent some time in the chapel praying together and reading Psalm 34 since we were 15 minutes early. At 6 am everything started. Dr. Orgill met us right away and looked very fresh. They were ready in the operating room early so they wisked me away and the operation started I believe around 7:20 am and finished about an hour later. They all said I looked better after the operation then before. Two answers to prayer: The surgeon being refreshed and me being refreshed. Didn't want to wake up but once I did was met by two of my Anesthesiology friends. One met me before the operation too. All of the nurses were great too. Then my mom and two friends rejoined me and we took our time in getting ready to leave the recovery room. I was able to walk steady and felt quite strong. When we got out to the car, there was an issue with my friends car keys that were missing. Thankfully, she had another set of keys and my valet parker friend was able to intervene to find the attendent who parked her car and we got the keys. So nice to run into friends along the way. Makes the place feel even more friendly. Got home just as the storm was beginning. Was home before noon.

I am not having any pain. The incision was very small and was part of the original incision. I was glued together instead of stiched together. I took one oxycodone last evening in order to make sure I would not wake up in pain and not be able to catch up with it. I had toruble sleeping but had no discomfort. We had quite a storm here and it was noisy all night. In many ways I feel better then I did before the operation. The expander was getting uncomfortable. I can comfortable move my whole body. The implant does not feel heavy. I don't feel like anything has changed except it is more comfortable and soft.

Please pray for the continual emotional healing for me, for the incision to heal well, to protect me from infection, to help me to be able to rest and let others take some of the responsibilities, to not think about work until next Wednesday (except to do payroll), for the anesthesia to be totally out of my system, for me to feel myself again, for me to not feel sitr crazy and bored (was unknown to me until this past year) which I am feeling now.

Thanks for the many encouraging e-mails that you have sent and for your prayers and support.

Praising God for a successful operation that went smoothly, quickly, and for no pain. God is faithful. He promised that He would be glorified through my illness and He has.

For His Glory,

Ruth
www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

SOS PLEASE PRAY

Dear All,

I just sent out an e-mail I prepared a few days ago. I had a really upbeat couple of weeks but as of Friday pm I became emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and I guess depressed. Please pray for me through out today and this week so that I can be emotionally and physically ready for this surgery. Basics are difficult for me the last couple of days. I have had to relax and not worry about what doesn't get done and take care of myself. Not sure if it is the drugs or any one of the major things going on in my life or all of them. Pray for spiritual strength too. The enemy is trying to put lies in my head. I know he is in control of my life and I was so sure of that last week. I know that now but somehow I am feeling very weak. I wrote this yesterday morning and my day got really crazy before I could finish this e-mail. I was in fact interrupted by a surprise. I got a call and have an interview on Wednesday at 1:15 for a very interesting position at Children's Hospital.

Thanks for your support and prayers. I got to run to my pre-op appointment. Looking forward to my 2 mile walk.

Blessings,

Ruth

www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

SURPISE BLESSING

Dear All,

I went to the Plastic Surgeon on Tuesday (February 27th) for more saline filling for my expander. I was expecting to get filled that day and then two more fillings a month apart and was anticipating surgery most likely in May. The syringe (it is huge) was filled and ready for my doctor to put in. He looked and said we are done. I am not going to put any in today. Your skin can not stretch more. So the date is set for March 16th for the implant surgery. I have been listening and asking lots of questions about saline vs. silicone implants. Due to the risk of autoimmune diseases and connective tissue issues and the fact that the silicone implants just went back on the market in November, I have decided to go with a Saline implant. I fell the other day totally prostate and thankfully God held me up a few inches or else all the work of filling the expander with saline would have been wasted. Thankfully, I did not land on my chest.

I had asked God a few days ago to confirm for me if I should get a Saline implant instead of Silicone. I didn't know that I was having to know which I wanted so soon. I thought I still had several months. But God knew. I felt at peace about saying saline and my doctor confirmed that he felt good. Just last week I heard of several cases of friends having someone they knew who was having autoimmune issues due to silicone implants. The silicone feel the most natural but the unknown health risks are more then I want to risk at this point. I can always change later and insurance will cover it.

Too bad that my nicely healed incisions have to be reopened and go again through the healing process.

I will have day surgery and it is a quick recovery. Can probably go back to work on the 19th but will probably take Monday and Tuesday off to recuperate since I haven't had any rest since this whole journey started over a year ago.

Have to be at the hospital at 6am on the 16th and my operation is at 7:30am.
Pre-op appointment on the 13th at 9:30.

Thanks for your prayers. Keep them coming. I am still on this journey.

Blessings,

Ruth
http://www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com/

SURPISE

Dear All,

I went to the Plastic Surgeon on Tuesday (February 27th) for more saline filling for my expander. I was expecting to get filled that day and then two more fillings a month apart and was anticipating surgery most likely in May. The syringe (it is huge) was filled and ready for my doctor to put in. He looked and said we are done. I am not going to put any in today. Your skin can not stretch more. So the date is set for March 16th for the implant surgery. I have been listening and asking lots of questions about saline vs. silicone implants. Due to the risk of autoimmune diseases and connective tissue issues and the fact that the silicone implants just went back on the market in November, I have decided to go with a Saline implant. I fell the other day totally prostate and thankfully God held me up a few inches or else all the work of filling the expander with saline would have been wasted. Thankfully, I did not land on my chest.

I had asked God a few days ago to confirm for me if I should get a Saline implant instead of Silicone. I didn't know that I was having to know which I wanted so soon. I thought I still had several months. But God knew. I felt at peace about saying saline and my doctor confirmed that he felt good. Just last week I heard of several cases of friends having someone they knew who was having autoimmune issues due to silicone implants. The silicone feel the most natural but the unknown health risks are more then I want to risk at this point. I can always change later and insurance will cover it.

Too bad that my nicely healed incisions have to be reopened and go again through the healing process.

I will have day surgery and it is a quick recovery. Can probably go back to work on the 19th but will probably take Monday and Tuesday off to recuperate since I haven't had any rest since this whole journey started over a year ago.

Have to be at the hospital at 6am on the 16th and my operation is at 7:30am.
Pre-op appointment on the 13th at 9:30.

Thanks for your prayers. Keep them coming. I am still on this journey.

Blessings,

Ruth
www.ruths-journey.blogspot.com

Another Loss

Dear All,

I have pics and other things to pass on to you and to put on the blog but something has come up that has taken priority.
Please pray for me to have strength with yet another loss. In fact, have not been in touch with my feelings since it happened. I think today I am starting to feel. Jim, my landlord (not really a landlord but like a second DAD to me), passed away on Tuesday morning. I have lived in this house since 1989 and he has been there through all my ups and downs. Through my tears, heart aches, and joys and accomplishments. We have seen many miracles in this house. We almost lost him many times. Exactly two years ago he got very sick. He came home from Rehab with two weeks to live. He couldn't eat, drink, move, or talk. God did a miracle. Through prayer of many for Jim and the love of family and friends Jim got to a point where he was walking on his own, talking and even about feelings, traveling (even to Bonaire), going out shopping, etc. When he first came home I spent lots of time with him as I helped to care for him in especially in the mornings. I helped to get him ready for the day and we had to pray a lot because it was very challenging in many ways. Mary and I were a great team with God as our coach. Jim brought so much joy to all of us. He is a very special man and gave me so much love. Every day there was Jim to say Good Morning to me as I was leaving for work he would always invite me for Breakfast and when I said I had to go and would always ask, "ARe you going to BWH?" Bring me back some ham. He would always want to show the rainbows in his room which he spent all day counting. He would ask how many I could see and we would count them together. His favorite song was, "You are my Sunshine" and another one about a Nasty Baby which we did not like him to sing but he really liked. He would play the harmonica even when he couldn't do much else. Always was listening to Hillbily at Harvard on Saturday am and Sunday morning counry on Sundays. He wouldn't miss it for anything. He always had music on and quite a variety. I will miss his calling out hello in a special way everytime I entered the house. I almost always would stop and at least say hi. He also invited me every day for dinner which over the last year I have not been able to join as much. He has been slowly going down hill. The last three days before he passed away he declined very quickly. Since he has popped back to health usually I didn't think too much of the decline. When he was so sick two years ago and what I have gone through with my dad, I have learned that our lives our clearly in God's hands. He knows when He is going to take us. I used to go to work and Jim was in really bad shape and I was sure I was going to come home to no more Jim. But he would be much better in the evening. Some days he was good in the morning and not in the evening. I learned that I could not live on that rollercoaster. Can't go planning one way or another. This time he was getting ready for his annual trip to Bonaire, but God took him before. He passed away peacefully. I had a special moment with him a few hours before just like the special moments I had with my Dad. The day before Jim passed away his eyes were shut and he was not coherent. He responded with his mouth a bit while putting water swabs in his mouth. Nodded head a bit. His body was very cold. We got oxygen which warmed him up a bit. I was sure that he was not going to be with us in the morning when I woke up but he was. I went into his room to say a quick good morning Jim on my way to work. As I said Good Morning he unexpectedly responded and opened one eye and then the other trying to communicate. I got to say some words to him and pray with him and asking God to take him without a struggle or suffering. It was a precious moment (few other family members were around) that I will not forget. My last moments with Jim. I got a call mid day that he had passed away. I have lost two dads in the matter of 6 months. The service will be on Sunday at 2pm at the Unitarian Church at Warren/Walnut streets right near our house. Thanks for your prayers for us at this time. The house is quite different with no Jim and no Mary (his caretaker who lived upstairs with me for two years). Pray for Harriet his wife of 58 years and their 5 daughters and families. I am thankful for my new housemate who moved in February 1st. Perfect timing. God knows exactly the timing of everything in our lives. Don't understand the timing of Jim's passing, but God knows why it is now. He has been such a blessing in my life and I will always have found memories of him. Thanks for many of you who have been praying for him these past years.

For His Glory,

Ruth

Christmas Outfit and Pink the Breast Cancer Logo

Here you see me with my Christmas Outfit from my mom. This is the last time you will see a picture of me with my wig (I have already retired the wig and you will see a picture soon). This picture is special since it is the outfit from my mom and the scarf is also very special. A woman from Tibet at work gave me this scarf from Tibet. She thought this one was especially for me since it was pink and pink is the color of the Breast Cancer logo.